In January of 2010, a mismatched group of bloggers gathered in a random bar in the West Village. As will happen when heroic men and women assemble for the free exchange of ideas, copious amounts of alcohol were consumed. I don’t know if I was the first Smoker to venture off to the bathroom that night, but having the bladder of a hamster, there’s a good chance that it was me.

How the cheese curds treating you now?  The eggs benedict staying down?  Is anyone feeling shame for asking for Jim Beam or Jack Daniels, when there most assuredly was much, much better choices?

I will keep this brief, for brevity is the soul of wit, and so you all can actually get through it in between tag team toilet rendezvouses.  And yes, ‘rendezvouses’ is correct.  I looked it up.  On with the show.

A big thanks to KoraInHell for designing our official Smokies logo!  Isn’t it lovely?

I have to admit, I’ve been so swamped this week and I forgot about this until the last minute, but I promise I read through everything!  Here are this week’s winners:

Senor Wences on Could Raiders Fans Be The Next Protected Class?:

I immediately placed a damning judgement on the person who shouted “Not pre-judged!” though. Bet he or she was dressed like an idiot, too.

(You have no idea how right you are.)

BC on Ether Mertz Hated You Squares:

Are you sure you’re not thinking of the time that a besotted William Frawley ate a baby at a pub, mistaking it for a hard-boiled egg?

(I almost did that once, only it was in a saloon, and it involved a macaque that I mistook for Abe Vigoda.)

Vaquero on Wordsmoker Word of the Day: “Quidnunc”:

Never completed all of Ulysses either! And can’t even figure out what the fuck is going on in FW. Although the moo cow, I love that, I’m all over that, and the warm and then cold.

(And you know like the raping penes in the Grapes of Wrath that are like the machines or whatever?  That was cool.)

RosaLuxembourgeoise for her masterful Blingee work in Victoria’s Sex Diary – Part 1:

(Mostly for the “represent” tagging in the backrgound.)

This weeks IRON LUNG AWARD winners are:

We’re here checking out the red carpet with Gillian Anderson. Oh, and soon we’ll pull up to the awards show in this limousine and interview celebrities who are entering the building.

This is certainly an exciting evening. Just moments from now we’ll see who wins this week’s Smokie award, and by the end of the night a new Iron Lung winner will be announced.

You want to know who’s going to win? Well, okay. I’m a little busy here, but I guess I could tell you. Make sure it doesn’t leave this limo, though. They would can my ass if this got out to TMZ.

This week’s Smokie Award winners are:

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(Cough cough cough cough) Hey (cough cough), sorry, I’m having a little trouble here.