Hello children!  It’s me again, Maya Angelou.  I think I’m finally starting to figure this internet thing out.  It’s a good thing, too, because I had no idea my cook was a registered sex offender.  But he’s gone.  I got that Gordon Ramsay guy to replace him.  Every cloud has a silver lining, and Gordon is my silver lining in this tough economy.

Nobody’s buying my poems anymore, and those who are usually give them as gifts to their neighbors.  And you know they never read them.  But Mama Maya’s found a nice distraction to keep her mind off of these troubling times.  No, I’m not talking about Gordon’s cooking.  I’m talking about something that really sticks to your ribs.  I’m talking about XTube.

Warning: This might get a little hot.  Best to get your kids and co-workers out of the room.  Oh, that’s right.  You aren’t working today.  You’re at home masturbating like everyone else.

What does an Australian call a sheep tied to a fence? A home entertainment centre! Hahaha.

My only brother in law is an Australian so, you know, I can be rude about those fuckers.