One of the earlier memories I have of Japan took place during an “orientation” seminar I attended as a part of the first exchange program I participated in, which was designed to brief us on general rules of behavior and the like so as to avoid at least the most obvious embarrassments. Scattered amongst the customary warnings about proper chopstick usage and the wisdom of bringing your own supply of tissue to public toilets came the puzzling warning, “Don’t ask someone what he or she is doing for Christmas. You’ll be misunderstood to be making a romantic proposition.”

A lot of people are asking “What the hell is going on with this Bernie Madoff thing?” I should know: Wordsmoker himself shot me a drunken missive asking for commentary. Some want in on the action and others want their confused populist crinkle-brows filled with knowledge but everyone who hears about this asks the same question: how in the world do you build a $50B Ponzi scheme out of a hedge fund?