The mystery surrounding two Northwest Airlines pilots who overflew Minneapolis by 150 miles took a startling turn tonight with the revelation that they were using their laptops to access Wordsmoker when they should have been preparing to land the aircraft.  This rumor, which had been circulating for days on Gawker, a once-popular media blog, can now be confirmed based on information gleaned from multiple sources, including leaked cockpit recordings.

Welcome back to the column that tells it like it isn’t, and spotlights the stories they don’t want you to read about. Memorial Day is when we in the States traditionally fill our bodies with unhealthy food to honor those tragically lost in America’s wars. Today, we’ll fill your heads with information of dubious quality as we honor those who have died in wars of a different kind, martyrs to shadowy forces. But first, as an added holiday bonus, I’m answering reader mail!

Wordsmoker desperado “BigLeggedWoman” writes: “I want you to investigate the fact that V8 juice is actually 35% Soylent Green.” I requested a clarification from Charles Hotton, Senior Vice President of Marketing for Campbell Soup Company, the makers of V8. Mr. Hotton replied to me in an e-mail message:

You’d be surprised how often I’m asked about that! But I’m afraid it’s just another urban legend. As an industry leader, Campbell is committed to following state-of-the-art quality control processes to ensure that none of our fine fruit or vegetable drinks leaves the factory containing any less than 50% Soylent Green by volume. With today’s hectic lifestyles, demanding consumers deserve no less.

I hope that quenches your curiosity, BLW! For those whose curiosity is not slaked, I offer the following: