A Note To You, And Everyone Else
Published: July 07, 2010
Running this place isn’t easy. I can’t console myself with the thought that I’m making a living from it. Not even close, my dears. The consolation comes in a different form. It comes when I get someone to write something – anything – here, when they were previously under the illusion that they couldn’t write, or wouldn’t be read, or didn’t think they had it – whatever “it” is – within themselves to get published. No money in the world can come close to the feeling I get when I tell them it’s been posted. It feels right, and it feels true, and the pride I take in somehow being part of a place where people can do this, well, that feels right and true too. That’s the consolation.
Hello there. It’s me – the Scottish Jerry Lewis again. I wish I was the Scottish Warren Buffet. Or even the Scottish Andrew Carnegie. But no. At best I’m the Scottish Jerry Lewis. At worst, I’m the Scottish Me. Anyway – that idiotic preamble aside – I’m here to leer through your computer televisions to remind you that this thing you’re reading right now and all the links surrounding it using special hyperwords is kept vaguely accessible on a server that is hosted by a nice company with a bad habit of wanting money for their “service”.
Oooh hello there! I love your hair! It always looks better on the weekends somehow. Why, if there was a little blue bruise shaped like a button on your neck saying “Like” I would press it so your hair would show up on my Facebook newsfeed and everybody could see it. What’s that? You say there’s a little blue button below every Wordsmoker post now? Below the “Share” button that everyone seems to ignore? There is? I hadn’t noticed because I’ve been spending too much time trying to emulate your hair, which I like NOW TEACH ME YOUR FOLLICLE-BASED SECRETS BEFORE I START YET MORE AWFUL FIRES I WILL BURN YOUR FACE YOUR NOSE IS A GOOD ACCELERANT.
Ever wonder how Wordsmoker gets put together? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU DO? Isn’t there enough going on in your life to think about besides this? Even I don’t think about how it gets put together and I’m the Editor. All I do is wake up, not shave, and start clicking on shit and apologizing to people because I haven’t answered their emails in a month. That’s it in a nutshell. Oh – Intern Strawberry Shortcake and I have intense editorial discussions that sometimes go off-topic. This latest one started after Strawbs came back from lunch and for it, I am truly sorry.
Yes, it was a weird period, the end of last year, the end of the decade. I spent it inebriated in one way or another, and got so drunk on New Year’s Eve I actually said something nice to Senor Wences. Before you say anything – of course I regret it, and I’ve cancelled my tickets to Omaha, or wherever the fuck it is he stays. Of course – between getting drugged out of my tits and the Wences-loving, a small backlog in articles grew in the electric mail box.
Hello there. Remember earlier on in the year, we were all giggling with astonishment and general love over the stories of now, sadly, ex-Wordsmoker N**d? Yes, that’s right – N**d. One of the saddest days of this year was when I received an electric mail from him, asking to get all his articles and comments deleted, because some internet twat had linked the amazing stories of N**d to his actual, real-life person. Depressing!
Hello you sexy internet bastards! It was little more than
This week was a week of learning here at the Wordsmoker offices. I learned how Mr Shoes likes things done around the office and a whole lot about Scottish culture and how that directly relates to what I should be putting in my mouth! I also learned a lot about how to get on top in this cut throat industry of websites. Oh and I learned that Alan Denton will step on that flaming bag poo no matter how many times in a row we leave it on his doorstep. Yep, busy week for me in the office!
