Hello and welcome to your Smoke Signals for Monday. Mondays suck and there’s no two ways about it, but if you read some of the below you’ll find yourself in awe, somewhat like if you were an ancillary but returning character in Frasier, before Martin got married and it all went a bit down hill. You’d be part of the best comedy in television, and even the dog likes you – that’s the kind of awe these links will provide. If you have to scream, do it into your elbow.

This is the Smoke Signals – a compilation of links to other, better stuff than this. This might be a regular column if it’s hated enough. Hate’s better than love, as events continue to tell us. So think of this as a swan – a drunken, belligerent swan with a gun and a bottle of whiskey. With a real potty-beak. Yeah, welcome to Smoke Signals – today it’s a dirty, drunken swan who will scream filth into your mind.