Doctor Screws Patient, Screws Patient Twice
Published: February 19, 2010
Think you’ve got problems with your health-plan? Spare a thought for the poor woman from Tampa, Florida who was sleeping with her doctor. These things happen, you say (maybe he was a talented golfer?). Doctor-patient sexual shenanigans are nothing new, you say. Well – this one was slightly different – the time the doctor spent screwing his patient was claimed for from her insurance carrier. By her doctor.
Oh congratulate yourselves, America – you just mutated, slightly. As a country, one of your own has raced ahead of all others into territory Child Protective Services now call “unknown”. For one of your number has displayed a mixture of intelligence and menace beyond rational explanation – I refer, of course – to the 4 year old boy who got drunk, broke out of his home and broke into his neighbors, opened their gifts, and ended up wearing a brown dress holding a 12oz bottle of Bud. America – you excel.
Yes – there’s a headline I don’t think I could’ve come up with without inhaling a rag soaked in kerosene for a couple of hours. My highly flammable eyebrows aside, it’s true – the BBC did ask “Should homosexuals face execution?” on a forum for World Service listeners in Africa. They wrote these words on a website with their actual fingers, and then changed it slightly when
We keep hearing how the threat of filibuster from some senators is forcing Democrats to gut the healthcare bill of any meaningful reform. First the public option bit the dust. Then, Senator Joe Lieberman refused to back a Medicare-expansion compromise he once supported. Democrats who support the original bill have a majority, but they are “powerless” (we are told) to stand up to moderates like Lieberman because he might … filibuster! Oh no! And we couldn’t have that, could we?
We don’t really do hot tubs in Scotland. The closest we get is when some of my fellow countrymen and women come back from ransacking England of its root vegetables and then have to go into decontamination for while, which essentially means sitting in a large pot until the boiling water steams the English germs out of our skins. The main reason we don’t do hot tubs is down to the weather. And that ridiculous, Calvinistic strain of belief amongst Those In Power here that pleasure derived from anything “weird” like warm and bubbly water is A SIN.
I found
The G-20 economic summit is taking place in Pittsburgh.
Movies influence us in many ways. There are very few men out there who haven’t approached a potential sex-partner completely nude while holding their erect penis and shouting “Say hello to my leetle friend!” in an accent probably closer to Pakistani than Cuban (much like Al Pacino himself). Recently, I wedged the end of my whip under the rear axle of a bus and I let it drag me into town so I could see some Nazis melt as they meddled with powers beyond their understanding. I also shot a big shark from a smaller boat on Sunday. Etc.
After the horror of
While harmlessly flipping through the hundreds of channels of reality TV programming last night, I stumbled upon what can only be describe as the single greatest reason for the cold war; Animal Planet’s “Wild Russia”.
As roughly 71% of you already know, I’m a cat person. No, I don’t change into a cat like Nastassja Kinski in the awful re-make of the Tourneur classic – well, not usually. I have no real underlying need to become a kitty. I’ve already got three of them, and although I enjoy mimicking their sleep patterns and love them dearly, that’s where the fascination ends. No. I’d rather be a dog. Your dog. Especially if you bought me a Snuggie.
From personal experience, the police in my area are normally proficient in the following; growing moustaches and dry sarcasm – but, like me, you may be slightly entertained to learn that 8 serving officers list their official religion as Jedi.
