5 Second Movie Review: Despicable Me
Published: July 12, 2010
You can start thinking up excuses to tell the sheriff about where you found those body parts right now. The Tomatometer is pinned to the right.
Science fiction at its finest. Beautiful, authentic, sad and suspenseful. Who needs actors besides Sam Rockwell, anyway?
When we were leaving the theater, an employee asked us if we enjoyed the show. My response?
“I… it… th… ga… no, just no. Monster rape.”
So – off Wordsmoker I’m chatting to Chillbear about guns and tits – the usual Editorial stuff. He tells me that I should watch Family Guy, because it’s a pastiche about The Empire Strikes Back or something. I tell him that his sweaty gym thing was hilarious, to which he replies “Oh thanks. That actually happened. I have no creativity.” To which I reply “… I disagree about your “no creativity” spiel. Fuck off. In the kindest way possible”. To wit, he comes back with “You fuck off in the kindest way possible. I’m watching “The Wolfman”. That will teach you.”
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From this moment on, “release the Kracken” will now mean taking a gigantic dump, for the movie is its equivalent.
Hilariously bad, the movie is best enjoyed with a few glasses of wine (or whatever booze you prefer). It certainly helped me!
Look, sometimes we all need a silly movie about pretty people in pretty clothes amid pretty settings. But frequently, romantic comedies suffer from what one might call the Pretty Woman syndrome: sure, it’s fun while one watches it, but afterward one is left with the cold hard reality animating the story – what Rachel Leigh Cook’s character called, in the one good line in She’s All That, “that whole hooker thing.”
While not many of us can get to Utah for the Sundance Film Festival, we can see the official entries on the YouTube Screening Room’s Sundance Chanel. Since you can’t watch the Prop h8 trial, why not check out “Charlie and the Rabbit”? It’s about a little boy who watches a “Bugs Bunny” cartoon, and then sets off to find himself a wascally wabbit of his own.
Scarface – for adults.
Revolting Youth! Too many shirtless Michael Cera scenes.
Still, the dialogue was brilliant.
Orson Welles was an egomaniacal drama queen, you say? Whodathunk! A must-see flick for lovers of the old-timey B&W movies when radio was theater, theater was life and Hollywood was poised to conquer both. Set in the late 1930s when women wore skirts, men wore hats and everybody smoked indoors.
A Wheaties jingle, ukulele and matches figure prominently.
Cutesy period-piece euphemisms for courting and sex–
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I would much rather see these two get it on than Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke. However, it was made abundantly clear that DR. WATSON IS GETTING MARRIED TO A LADY, SO NONE OF THIS IS REMOTELY GAY.
