1. I was born in Flagstaff, AZ, under the sign of Leo. Leo’s Trailer Park.

2. My first name is Donal. Don’t even try to put a “d” on the end of it, I will slap you. Also, it’s not pronounced “Darnell”. I’m not black.

3. I’m circumsized, but not completely. I refer to this as “loose cut” or “relaxed fit”. However, when I’m nervous or anywhere near cold water it totally looks like an innie.

1. I was born in Massachusetts but spent only two days there. When I say I was born in Massachusetts it comes out “Eye was bo-orn en Massa Chew Sits” (see #11) so most people think I’m joking.

2. I am an Air Force brat. I was raised all over the States but spent most of my childhood in the UK, where my father was Base Commander. He sexually abused me.

1. I know Chillbear Latrigue. I knew him from WritersCafe, which, at one time, was a great place to post and read and review. It has gone down the nasty MySpace/Facebook/social networking crap road, and I never looked back once it went that way.  I’m very grateful he told me about Wordsmoker. I thought I would just end up reading crap on Digg and Slate and posting my inane blogs on my website, and they would go nowhere.

1. As some of you know, I was raised in the Illuminati and my body and soul were pledged to Satan at a tender age.  But I’m not Haitian or anything.  LULZ

2. I deplore humor based on bodily functions, and I’ve never “gotten” Adam Sandler or almost anyone else who came out of Saturday Night Live. Give me understated, sardonic British humor any day of the week.

1. I am 47 1/2 years old, and sometimes I forget that I am no longer that pretty, skinny blonde I was in my 20’s. I find myself flipping my hair in front of a cute boy and realize that it has been many years since a cute boy has even looked my way.

1. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis along with a slew of secondary conditions like fibromyalgia, migraines, cluster headaches, etc. I don’t work. I do find ways to fill my days.

2. I take 26 different medications a day. That’s not individual pills. I take as many as 12 pills of certain meds. I am afraid to tally up the exact number of pills I take in a day.

1. I’m left-handed.

2. I have green eyes.

3. I know two of you.

4. I am severely fashion-challenged, so I tend to keep it simple with jeans and a shirt.

4. I decided to make this list because of #3. I’ll need to make a second list because of #1.

2. whyamihere is not some great philosophical question. It was originally meant to be witty. More like “Do you know why I am here on wordsmoker?” Now I look at it and realize it is droll.

1. I know Chillbear Latrigue. I started reading wordsmoker because he kept posting links to the Smokies on his facebook page. We work together and I trust him with my life. He was not working tonight so I wrote this with my feet up on his desk.

1. I grew up in the buckle of the bible belt and as a cynical insomniac, found great entertainment in televangelists. (Often the only network programming in the middle of the night other than infomercials.) They are equally terrifying and hilarious.

1. I’m partial to odd numbers so I’m listing 19 things instead of a round 20.

2. I frequently crave chips, salsa and guacamole and can eat them as an entire meal, even breakfast. Or as a side-dish with just about any other meal.

1. I have always driven very old cars. First because that’s all I could afford. Then because I live in NYC in a not-so-great neighborhood where the kids on the street climb all over the vehicles and throw rocks and shit. My first car I bought for $200 from somebody who had won it in a game of poker. I drove it all the way from Texas to NYC, and it broke down three times on the way. The first time, in Arkansas, the mechanic said: “When you get to New York, if you get to New York, park this car on a corner, remove the license plates and registration sticker, and walk quickly away.”

1. My first name is actually my first and middle names mashed together. It was supposed to be just Kate, and my middle name was supposed to be Anne, but my dad wrote the two too close together on the application for my birth certificate, and so it was filed wrong. My parents never changed it, and I’m far too lazy to do it, so I have a weirdo first name and no middle name. It’s fucking ridiculous and makes me angry all the time.

1. I was born in Michigan, moved as a baby to Biloxi, MS, (where I survived the century’s most powerful hurricane, Camille) and then moved to Knoxville, TN, where I grew up; from 7th Grade through the end of high school I attended an all boys boarding school in Chattanooga, TN, and this is the cause of much of the many things that are wrong with me and the reason that, in general, I prefer the company of the female of the species to you man types.

1. When I was 23 years old, and had graduated from university, lived at home for a year and found no opportunity in Detroit, I moved to New York to find a job in some field associated with either publishing or advertising. For weeks my situation looked hopeless as it had at home; I was making $4.15 an hour loading trucks in the garment district. Every time I spoke with my parents–my father a Baptist minister, mother, a teacher—they assured me that everyone in the church was praying that I would find “the right job.” Amazingly, I landed a job as a junior promotion copywriter for a major magazine, but the ‘rents were less than thrilled when I told them it was Playboy. “What can you do,” I told them. “Prayer works.”