Wordsmoker

Your poem? You know, the one into which you have poured your innermost hopes and dreams and tragedies? Well, it sucks.

Oh, also! That short story–the one where you use way too many adjectives and embarrassingly and inartfully and utterly unsuccessfully attempt to ape (or perhaps in your mind “one-up”) David Foster Wallace/John Updike/Alice Munro/Ann Beattie/Anne Tyler/Joshua Ferris/Jonathan Safran Foer/Junot Diaz/Henry James–also sucks.

Your attempt to ape David Foster Wallace/John Updike/Alice Munro/Ann Beattie/Anne Tyler/Joshua Ferris/Jonathan Safran Foer/Junot Diaz/Henry James doesn’t even come close to the mark. In fact, it is unreadable.

I’m telling you this not because I dislike you, although I probably would if I knew you. I’m telling you this because, while I may not be an extraordinarily talented writer, I am an extraordinarily talented reader. And I know when what I’m reading sucks. Your work, unfortunately, falls into this category.

You want to know how I know when I’m reading something that sucks? Read the rest of this entry →