July 30, 2012 in The Unbearable Lightness Of Television
Mr Zenkel. You don’t know me but you do now. I’m a writer based in Scotland and I founded and run Wordsmoker. You’re the man responsible for insulting the memory of 52 terrorist victims and the thousands of others effected by the London bombings in 2005, besides all your other crimes against television and the Olympic Ideal. Oh. One thing before I continue? I may be writing from Scotland, but the server I’m writing on? It’s based in Washington DC and Los Angeles, California. Does that sound strange? It isn’t. See – I wanted whatever I wrote protected under your rather good First Amendment, which if you don’t know? Gives the right to free speech. A bit like the right Guy Adams has. Or had. Before you got him kicked off of Twitter? Yeah. That Guy. Talk about hammering yet another nail into your own corporate coffin! Okay – let’s talk about hammering these nails into your corporate coffin. See, Gary? I think you’ve got – at best – a couple of days left in employment at NBC. If you’re not already mailing out your résumé to other, more popular television networks (I can think of three off the top of my head) then trust me – you should be. Unfortunately they might know of your recent track record, so be prepared to become one of these “living it large” welfare queens I hear so much about on Fox News. Gary – I think I can call you Gary – Gary?