January 18, 2009 in sex
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our latest Wordsmoker – Mr. C.A.B. Fredericks…
Every year has its resounding winners, and this year the clap is the Slumdog Millionaire of burning sensations, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2007 STD Surveillance Report. But you can never rule out a cult classic, especially if it’s French.
The CDC, by intensely scrutinizing everyone’s funzones (Big Brother starts watching you right after Creepy Uncle stops) and pondering for a year, compiles annual reports tracking increases or decreases in particular sexually transmitted diseases (HIV is tracked separately; if you care, the number of HIV positive individuals are rising, but only because they’re no longer doing bigots and denialists the courtesy of dying). While recent press panic has focused on the bump- and cancer-causing human papillomavirus as well as the timeless icon of slut-shaming herpes simplex virus-2, the 2007 report skims past these incurables.