July 28, 2009 in 5 Second Movie Review
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February 26, 2009 in Forgotten Films
If you’re anything like me (and I know you are) you often think “I wonder how Al Pacino would play a voracious power bottom?” and “Why didn’t Bruno Kirby do more gay S&M?” Well your prayers are answered today my lil’ filthy monkey with a hidden gem that I like to call Cruising. Starring Big Al as the cop, Krazy Karen Allen as the cop’s girlie and a pre-Arby’s Paul Sorvino, Cruising takes you through the early ’80′s pre-Aids gay S&M subculture in a serial killer story that has multiple narrative viewpoints and no clear cut character motivations.
January 16, 2009 in Sunday Afternoon Hangover Cinema
In the first of a new series, new Wordsmoker PimpMyCouch takes a look at movies you probably won’t admit to watching in public, but secretly do in private when you’re hungover on a Sunday afternoon. Over to you, PimpMyCouch…
We all have our favourite movies, usually something highbrow or critically acclaimed, which makes us look smart at dinner parties. We also all have our secret favourite movies. Ones we would never cop to liking, or ever buy, preferring to watch them on cable on those Sunday afternoons following a drunken bender, trying in vain to fight off nausea and a headache and vowing never again to drink that many double vodka sodas/tequila shots/Irish Car Bombs/bottles of red wine. I
January 15, 2009 in The Tarantula Club
All right, hold up your kittens! Purr purr purr! Good kitties! Ha ha, no.
Welcome back to the tarantula club. Had you going there for a second. You should have seen your faces, sitting there with tarantulas in your laps. All “What? Kittens? Kittens suck!”
Aren’t these new digs in Alice Von Wertschmacker Hall swell? Sorry about all the construction noise…I’ll try to talk over it. If your tarantulas get too bitey because of all the hammering, just remember: Stroke, and coo. Stroke…and coo. That’s it. There you go.
Okay, so this is a Mongolian trapdoor spider.
It is, of course, a mygalomorph, as any asshole with eyes can see. While this makes it a cousin to the mighty tarantula, it is no tarantula, and I am going to squish it. Die, fucker! Squish you! Squish! Dead now.
And, thus and therefore, Close to Eden (1991) is about Mongolian cultural identity, sans shitty-ass trapdoor spiders.