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All right, hold up your kittens!

All right, hold up your kittens!  Purr purr purr!  Good kitties!  Ha ha, no.

Welcome back to the tarantula club.  Had you going there for a second.  You should have seen your faces, sitting there with tarantulas in your laps.  All “What?  Kittens?  Kittens suck!”

Aren’t these new digs in Alice Von Wertschmacker Hall swell?  Sorry about all the construction noise…I’ll try to talk over it.  If your tarantulas get too bitey because of all the hammering, just remember:  Stroke, and coo.  Stroke…and coo.  That’s it. There you go.

Okay, so this is a Mongolian trapdoor spider.

It is, of course, a mygalomorph, as any asshole with eyes can see.  While this makes it a cousin to the mighty tarantula, it is no tarantula, and I am going to squish it.  Die, fucker!  Squish you!  Squish!  Dead now.

And, thus and therefore, Close to Eden (1991) is about Mongolian cultural identity, sans shitty-ass trapdoor spiders.

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