March 27, 2011 in The Smokie Awards
A friend of mine tells me last week about this alleged super moon that’s going to hit, and yeah, I’ll admit that I was pretty excited. But who wants to look at a super moon by himself? “No one” is the appropriate response. So, I broke out my little black book—which has actually been rendered obsolete in the age of cell phone contact lists—and I called a few lady friends. This really got me nowhere. Apparently, most of the girls who haven’t heard from me in five-plus years aren’t all that keen on blowing off their Saturday night plans to hang out with someone “who was quite frankly a little iffy to begin with.” So, I went to Plan B, which was to tether my cat Li’l Knarfles to a tree, while I stand nearby, lighting fireworks and drinking a six-pack. Everything was going great: the fireworks were a-sparkling, L’il K was managing not to strangle herself and I found a great urine bush. The ONLY problem is the super moon. It isn’t. I look up in the sky and yeah, there’s a moon, but it’s that same stupid circle of light I see any other month. No rising tides. No wolf-men. Nothing. Also, L’il Knafles now has worms. Read the rest of this entry →
Tags: Horrid Music, Iron Lung, Mechanical Larynx, Pokies, Smokies, Super Moon, threesomes
Soooooo . . . I may have missed posting a new Smokies for the last couple of weeks (or since October 9). Not to fear, for as you know, this site's airtight award system ensures that no comment goes unnoticed. Wordsmoker is proud to present the first edition of the 2012 Smokie Awards, which happen to cover nearly a quarter of 2011. Because it's been so long, the theme "It's Been So Long" is the obvious choice. But that's kind of a gyp, right? Well, so is recycling an old video, yet here we are.
