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by MilitantRubberDucky

The Third Annual Wordsmoker Valentine’s Day Love Contest

January 29, 2013 in Valentine's Day Love Contest

It’s that time of year again folks. You know, the one where we get inundated with orders to express our love for our significant other on one certain day, usually in the form of food/jewelry/chocolates, and if we don’t we are to be forever branded as commitment-phobes? Yes, Valentine’s Day, that’s the holiday! Yay, the time has come to once again squeeeeeeeeze our way into our Spanx and go out with all the other boobs attempting to show their unique love at The Melting Pot. Luckily for you, we here at Wordsmoker HQ sympathize, so to help dull the aggravation, I am happy to bring you The Third Annual Wordsmoker Valentine’s Day Love Contest. (Wow that sure is a mouthful.) From now until February 13th at midnight (and probably a little bit after) you can submit your Love, Sex, or Valentine’s Day themed poems, rants, stories, opinion pieces, et cetera for consideration. Here are the rules: Read the rest of this entry →

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by Chillbear Latrigue

The Second Annual Wordsmoker V.D. Love Contest Results

February 16, 2012 in Valentine's Day Love Contest

I detest Valentine’s Day. I know that there is a religious significance to it—something about Cupid dying for all of our sins—but somehow that’s all lost in the sea of red foil, sparkling pink lamé, and workplace one-upmanship. I host this contest in the hope of reading a pure, concentrated form of anti-love vitriol, the likes of which the world has never seen.  However, this year, most of you, with a few exceptions, seemed to want to pay homage to the old-fangled emotion of l’amour. Well, that’s not against the rules; it’s just a little unrealistic and you should all know that you’re still vulnerable to romantic destruction. My advice is to get your next relationship tragedy over with soon so that you can live out the rest of your days as a bitter cynic. Read the rest of this entry →

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Avatar of Chillbear Latrigue

by Chillbear Latrigue

V.D. Love Contest Reminder

February 13, 2012 in Valentine's Day Love Contest

For fuck’s sake, people, this contest is about love—an emotion that some of you allegedly possessed at one point in your lives. The final hours of the competition are winding down. I have four prizes and three entries, one of which is ineligible. I am literally figuratively pulling my hair out here. I will be accepting entries until the end of Valentine’s Day (midnight Tuesday). If I don’t have a quorum by that time, I will do something desperate, AND NONE OF YOU WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. Let’s just say that I’ve noticed the average liberal’s aversion to animals having their knuckles smashed with ball peen hammers. (Conservatives are usually okey with this). Seriously though, I’ll probably just write or do something grotesque. Read the rest of this entry →

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by Anonymous-Author

Our Hearts

February 13, 2012 in Valentine's Day Love Contest

Our Hearts by S.E.

I remember that first night,

It was love at first sight. Read the rest of this entry →

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by MilitantRubberDucky

Rooted

February 10, 2012 in Valentine's Day Love Contest

Couple in the City

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Avatar of Chillbear Latrigue

by Chillbear Latrigue

Conversations in Dating

January 30, 2012 in Valentine's Day Love Contest

“You look lovely sitting across the table from me. Part of that may be the table. Because a table well set can be the perfect compliment to a beautiful woman, like the way that the right shade of rouge sets off the contours of her cheeks. By the way, I feel that you could use a bit more. Do not feel insulted by this observation; I’ve noticed that most women around your age are miserly with their rouge. I’m sure you can remedy it in the lady’s room.” Read the rest of this entry →

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Avatar of Chillbear Latrigue

by Chillbear Latrigue

If Chillbear Showed His Penis. . .

June 9, 2011 in Wordsmoker Poetry

If Chillbear showed his penis, would the world stop and take notice?

Would a girl show it to a another girl, who would show it to a boy, who would show it to yet another girl?

Would one forward it to ten, who would then forward it to a hundred, who would forward it to ten million?

How long would it take before it reached the leaders of the world’s nations? Would Iran declare war on Japan just because they rhyme? Read the rest of this entry →

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Avatar of Anna

by Anna

Dear Uncle Tim: An Open Letter To A Dying Man

October 17, 2010 in death, Life

I found out the other day that my uncle Tim (not his real name) is dying of cancer.  Tim lives out in a very remote area of Colorado, because that is far away from Vermont, I have not gotten to see Tim nearly as much as I wish I could.  Tim the one extended relative that I have always felt very close to. He’s suffered from mental health issues for much of his adult life, which is why I think I have identified with him more than any of my other uncles and aunts.

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