The Counter Attack (Part 1)
January 30, 2013 in Valentine's Day Love Contest
The plan was to head over to Fucktard’s for the evening. His mom picked me up, and then later she stupidly left me alone with him. (Dumb ass bitch! I don’t understand parents; they think they’re helping and encouraging their kids to have some romantic time by leaving them alone. It’s the worst thing anyone could do considering it’s us — somebody usually almost dies every time.)
Fucktard attacked me! I was having a glass of water and eating a banana when he started throwing boxes at me until I fell down and my glass shattered everywhere. I was on the floor lying on a bunch of glass, and then Fucktard came up to me and took my banana out of my hand, while laughing hysterically at the sight of me squirming around on top of a bunch of glass shards. He started throwing pieces of banana at me. He put banana in my hair, and between my toes. I should have expected this. I had been caught off guard, I had gotten lazy, and I had little slivers of glass in my arms and hands. As I struggled to get up he flung little pieces of mashed up banana into my face. Read the rest of this entry →
It’s that time of year again folks. You know, the one where we get inundated with orders to express our love for our significant other on one certain day, usually in the form of food/jewelry/chocolates, and if we don’t we are to be forever branded as commitment-phobes? Yes, Valentine’s Day, that’s the holiday! Yay, the time has come to once again squeeeeeeeeze our way into our Spanx and go out with all the other boobs attempting to show their unique love at The Melting Pot. Luckily for you, we here at Wordsmoker HQ sympathize, so to help dull the aggravation, I am happy to bring you The Third Annual Wordsmoker Valentine’s Day Love Contest. (Wow that sure is a mouthful.) From now until February 13th at midnight (and probably a little bit after) you can submit your Love, Sex, or Valentine’s Day themed poems, rants, stories, opinion pieces, et cetera for consideration. Here are the rules: 
