Wordsmoker Anthropology: Things That Petrify Me
May 5, 2012 in Scary!, Terrifying Things, Wordsmoker Anthropology
- Spiders – Any and all shapes, colors, and sizes. I am not so much afraid of seeing them as I am of when they disappear.
- Despite the fact they’ll keep me looking behind doors for a week, I insist on watching scary movies (just not alone; nothing makes me go, “Oh, fuck no,” faster than a horror movie at night by myself). Same goes for creepy video games.
- Chainsaws – There’s a reason they have the “Chain Gang” at Halloween Horror Nights every year. Fuckers.
- Despite the fact that even though there is no one home, I am absolutely certain that the moment I stick my hand inside, the garbage disposal will turn on.
- Even though I vacuum under the bed all the time, I refuse to hang my foot off the side of the bed at night because I just KNOW something will grab me and drag me kicking and screaming below.
- Dying Young – What, you expect me to say something witty about that? Fuck you. Read the rest of this entry →
.jpg)
Today
1. Drive a van.
You can watch the big plane take-off 
I mean – really, don’t watch it. I think it was made by Big Oil to make everyone start taking even more flights – perhaps on seal-powered zeppelins – because it’s so absolutely horrific I can only imagine they were looking for people to be so put-off it’s “green” message that they would decide to burn kittens in power stations or something. Yes – that’s the answer – “clean kitten” – the power source of the future.
Seals are getting SERIOUS! Did you know about these things? I didn’t — but I don’t get out so much anymore. See more of these crazy badass creatures 
