August 23, 2012 in Our long national nightmare is over
Are you ready for the latest thing dropping out of the Octomom? Her hot new dance single, “Sexy Party,” will be released on Tuesday, September 4th, and Wordsmoker will be hosting a release party to mark the occasion!
Here’s a 30-second sneak preview of the song from TMZ!
June 20, 2009 in I poo you not, Our long national nightmare is over, Trailer Parts
Heaveno, dear wordsmokers. Heaveno.
No, no. We don’t say, “Hello,” anymore. It’s got a naughty word in it. And many thanks to Kingsville, Texas resident Leonso Canales Jr. for paving the way to freedom from offensive speech.
You can imagine this man’s rationale. I need not explain. But it’s so bat poo crazy, I cannot resist. From the article on MNDaily.com:
“When you go to school and church, they tell you ‘hell’ is negative and ‘heaven’ is positive,’” said the 56-year-old Canales, who owns the Kingsville Flea Market. “I think it’s time that we set a new precedent, to tell our kids that we are positive adults.”
Genius. And I mean that in a “intellectual-is-a-four-letter-word-to-these-people” kind of way. Read the rest of this entry →
by Sproing
March 27, 2009 in Crazy Wingnut News, Our long national nightmare is over, President Obama
WASHINGTON (April 30, 2009) — President Barack Obama and Congress today continued their bold lockstep program to revive America’s staggering economy, even as Obama’s predecessor George W. Bush faced intensifying scrutiny over misdeeds allegedly carried out by his administration.
Buoyed by the success of his programs to strengthen the social safety net and head off a second Great Depression, Obama directed the SEC, Treasury Department and Justice Department in a coordinated effort to “get to the heart of the credit crisis and determine whether criminal misconduct helped bring about our current troubles.”
These initiatives and more promised to make Obama’s first 100 days among the most significant of any presidency. Seldom has a chief executive inspired such uniform cooperation from the notoriously fractious Congress. Representatives agreed early on that the economic, social and international crises afflicting the country were too important for partisan squabbling.
“It’s true I might have once had questions about whether President Obama was a secret Marxist, and whether he would remove references to God from our currency,” said Rep. Michelle Bachmann, R-Minn. “But then after I touched the hem of his suit, I was suddenly able to comprehend language and use tools, so I read The Communist Manifesto. Do you know he isn’t mentioned in there anywhere?” Read the rest of this entry →
February 24, 2009 in Economy, Financial Doomwatch, Money, Our long national nightmare is over, President Obama
On the eve of Barack Obama’s big speech, I figured it was best to spin you a seafarer’s yarn on why the poor man is going to go gray and bend at the back before this thing is done. Everyone’s curious how this thing is going to start and what he’s going to say. I suggest, perhaps, that our speechifier-in-chief open with “From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale.”
Why would I suggest such a tone? What deadly sea-creature must Hopey slay? The answer, landlubbers, is the Kraken.
January 29, 2009 in Freaken Cute!, I SHIT YOU NOT, Our long national nightmare is over, Things Very Necessary, Will It Never End
Yes, there’s a recession. It’s been a bad month and a bad few years. Everyone is sort of grumpy. Tell you what:
Look into his little eyes. Try to frown now, you sad sack. You can’t. You can’t do it!
January 21, 2009 in Our long national nightmare is over, Politics, Scary!
One of these men shot his friend in the face. One of these men made a fortune through war. One of these men sends shivers of fear through the hearts of many with his mere presence.
The other man is Lionel Barrymore, in his role as the evil Mr. Potter in “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
January 19, 2009 in Our long national nightmare is over
1.) Laugh at the condemned.
2.) Foolishly spend.
3.) Impede Science.
4.) Steal.
5.) 7 hour rape.
6.) Proceed with delusion.
7.) Praise the incompetent.
8.) Recklessly disobey laws.
9.) Pretend there’s a Jesus.
10.) Ruin Everything.
Perhaps you could leave additional things in the comments?
by H. Totheomo
January 18, 2009 in Our long national nightmare is over, Politics, Rants, Sports, The Future Is Here, The Past, Things Very Necessary
On this historic weekend, at this historic moment, we are all celebrating like the proud, crazy people we are. Rightly.
We have enjoyed wonderful symbolism and look forward to soaring rhetoric.
This moment, carefully calibrated to crescendo Tuesday at noon, is lacking something. Interviews? No. Video? Not so much. Coverage? Christ, no.
We’re missing music. Yes, there will be music at the Inauguration, but there is also an opportunity missed.
January 15, 2009 in Our long national nightmare is over, Things Unnecessary
George “Dubya” Bush will apologize to the nation give his farewell speech tonight on national television. What channel? All of them, I guess, except Cartoon Network, which would have been most appropriate.
The speech, which is expected to run 10 – 15 minutes, is a ritual that dates back to George Washington. Hopefully, it will not pre-empt the new episode of “CSI”, in which Gil Grissom will also give a farewell speech.
As a salute to the spirit of Dubya – drink heavily. You won’t have old George to kick around anymore. Finally.
Proudly powered by WordPress, BuddyPress and the GLORIOUS SERVER.
