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Dear Martin Scorcese,
I love you, and not just for your films.
I don’t love you just for Taxi Driver, and the amazing scene at the end where Travis Bickle puts the bloody finger to his temple in fun gun imitation.
I don’t love you just for Gangs Of New York, a marvelous film of yours criticized harshly, but remains one of my favorites.
I don’t love you just for Joe Pesci’s character in GoodFellas.
No. Martin Scorcese, I love you, because you love film. You define the word, ‘cinephile.’ Read the rest of this entry →
February 26, 2009 in Forgotten Films
If you’re anything like me (and I know you are) you often think “I wonder how Al Pacino would play a voracious power bottom?” and “Why didn’t Bruno Kirby do more gay S&M?” Well your prayers are answered today my lil’ filthy monkey with a hidden gem that I like to call Cruising. Starring Big Al as the cop, Krazy Karen Allen as the cop’s girlie and a pre-Arby’s Paul Sorvino, Cruising takes you through the early ’80′s pre-Aids gay S&M subculture in a serial killer story that has multiple narrative viewpoints and no clear cut character motivations.
February 16, 2009 in Forgotten Films
If you’re anything like me (and I know you are) you often think “Could I fuck a dolphin?” After all, they are the rapists of the sea so they would probably let me in there. And afterwards, would the dolphin pepper me with stupid questions like “Does this ocean make my ass look big?” and “Why do you want to watch me munch on tuna while you masturbate?” Because dolphins are just like you broads. Well lil’ sea creatures, The Big Blue (Albanian Alternative Title- I Know What You Did To That Seafood Last Summer) dares to ask about that wet Troy McClure love which dare not speak its name in polite landlubber society and it’s my pick for today.
February 12, 2009 in Forgotten Films
If you’re anything like me (and I know you are) you often think “Why doesn’t that violent and irascible drunk Lee Marvin make anymore movies?” For those of you responding “Well, because he’s dead.” I say to you, Point Blank (atheist scum). A neo-noir crime thriller of metaphysical scale starring Lee, Archie Bunker, Dean Wormer and that hot naked chick who takes a shower in the beginning of Dressed to Kill. This movie starts by murdering Lee Marvin (Walker) who doesn’t even seem vaguely fazed by the event. That’s how tough Lee Marvin is fuckerz. Or is it all a dream (Patrick Duffy)? A violent revenge fantasy of a dying man in his final death spasms? Maybe Walker is an avenging angel? A gooey phantom righting the wrongs before proceeding on to the ethereal? Probably the last guy to ask is Walker because he seems almost as drunk as Lee Marvin in real life.
February 4, 2009 in Forgotten Films
If you’re anything like me (and I know you are) you have a neglected Netflix account that reflects the tastes and sensibilities of an illiterate Albanian (pathetic). Let’s face it, you are never going to watch all those fancy British Mystery! shows because you are uncultured and of poor Eastern European stock. You are also never ever going to watch Meet Me in St. Louis no matter how many top ten lists it makes, because it is soooo fucking boooooooring. You are also never going to learn French, run a marathon or feel complete because you ate your unborn twin. But this isn’t about you and your significant shortcomings in non-film fields.