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Get off it

September 30, 2012 in America The Fucked

The people who brought you Megyn Kelly , Obama’s Hip Hop Barbecue™, and “Sex With Young Boys: Could It Be A Good Thing?” are at it again!

If you were watching Fox News on Friday, you might have seen a man kill himself, live, on national television.

Fox News wants you to know that they are very, very sorry this happened, and host Shepard Smith has offered an Explanatiapology for what happened: Read the rest of this entry →

Clint’s Chair, Filled

August 30, 2012 in America The Fucked

Learn Your Goddamn Math!

November 29, 2011 in America The Fucked, Rants

It went something like this: two of my acquaintances are talking on one of their Facebook walls about the daunting task of preparing holiday cards.

Madame Bovary: "After preparing sixty holiday cards, I feel exhausted." (She actually wrote "Christmas cards," but in that this is a multi-denominational/atheistic blog, I decided to sanitize her words for you heathens.)

Barbarella: "Ahh, I actually had to prepare ninety holiday cards, so I'm equally if not more exhausted."

Read the rest of this entry →

The Hall of Lame

August 16, 2011 in America The Fucked

A few weeks ago, Kansas Public Radio ran a story that first aired on Harvest Public Radio. (Please do not snicker at Harvest Public Radio. We have so few nice things in the Great Plains.) The first thing I heard was this:  “If you believe in America, this is where you come!” The voice uttering this astonishingly wrong-headed statement came from the lips of Carl DiCapo, a Kansas City octogenarian who is attempting to raise mega cash to save the National Agricultural Hall of Fame in Bonner Springs, Kansas, which is just a few minutes west of Kansas City. 

I have nothing against Bonner Springs.  It has a really neat outdoor amphitheatre where I saw both Sting and The Monkees, although not at the same time.  In the fall, Bonner Springs hosts the annual Renaissance Festival where my seven-year-old can tear into a turkey leg like a feral child raised in a forest during the Middle Ages by SCA members. Read the rest of this entry →

The LOLs and OMGs of Journalism’s FAILs

July 29, 2011 in America The Fucked

The image above is a screenshot from MSNBC’s “Power Wall,” asking me to select my reaction to a story about a severely mentally ill congressman who isn’t denying that he raped an eighteen-year-old girl. The choices offered are LOL, WIN, OMG, and FAIL.

When pressed to choose, I would probably rule out LOL, and I definitely wouldn’t choose WIN.  That leaves me with OMG and FAIL, though these would probably better describe my reaction to MSNBC’s presentation of this news story than my opinion on the matter itself. Read the rest of this entry →

Let’s Give Texas Back To Texas

July 6, 2011 in America The Fucked

Texas will execute Humberto Leal tomorrow for the 1994 rape and murder of a sixteen-year-old girl, despite the federal government and the International Court of Justice’s attempts to postpone the execution.

Humberto Leal, a Mexican citizen who moved to the United States as a child, was never offered consular services during his detainment or trial, a right provided by the Vienna Convention on Consular Relations.

US Solicitor General Donald Verrilli stated in a brief filed by the state department on Friday that “The imminent execution of petitioner would place the United States in irreparable breach of its international law obligation… It would have serious repercussions for United States foreign relations, law enforcement and other co-operation with Mexico, and the ability of American citizens travelling abroad to have the benefits of consular assistance in the event of detention”. Read the rest of this entry →

Dong of Shame: Rep. DeGraaf, May the Forced Birth Be With You

May 26, 2011 in America The Fucked

I am a very busy lady. I have appointments to keep, shift exchanges at work to track, and even the occasional date. I have to use a calendar because of my awful memory, and it looks like I’m going to have put one more item on my To Do List: Get raped.

We ladies plan for everything else, so it only makes sense for us to also plan for the little inconvenience of having our bodies violated, and be double extra certain we have insurance in the event we get pregnant from the rape and decide to terminate it. At least, that’s the level of planning expected by Kansas Representative Pete DeGraaf ( R )—who also happens to be a man. Read the rest of this entry →

Get Your Seal Team Six Paraphernalia Now!

May 4, 2011 in America The Fucked, NSFW, Shopsmoker, Things Very Necessary, Those Gays!

While the White House has been reluctant to formally announce that Seal Team Six was responsible for successfully killing Osama Bin Laden, you know they totally did it.

What Charlie Sheen is to crack-fueled ragers with Los Angeles’ most luxurious party whores, Seal Team Six is to defending the men and women of this country.  If Sheen has tiger blood, these guys have crocodile sperm.

That’s why MissLinda and I are proud to announce the off-offshore founding of the Linsanto corporation, the officially trademarked Seal Team Six™ brand name, and our new line of Seal Team Six™-inspired products!

Read the rest of this entry →

Dong of Shame: Governor Walker, Bully for Hire

March 4, 2011 in America The Fucked

Behold, the Dong of Shame! Fear his glorious, shiny, terrible wrath!

On March 1st, Wisconsin governor Scott Walker gave a speech in which he shed light on his two year budget. The budget is full of crippling cuts that would decimate schools across the state. Read the rest of this entry →