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What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →

What’s That in Your Gut? Oh, That’s Right. Christmas.

December 27, 2008 in Rants

So it’s Christmas Eve and I have to do that thing. You know what thing. That thing. That which is regarded as the most heinous, odious, sacrificial, Pagonistic ritual of all things on Christmas Eve. One that may leave you drained of corpuscle elasticity, depleted of mental dexterity, the bringer on of homicidal thoughts, a true act in self-mutilation, and ultimately the harbinger of lameness so acute it has no determined name to describe its loosening of bowel function sense of impending doom.

I mean, of course, going to the frickin mall. Read the rest of this entry →