January 29, 2013 in Valentine's Day Love Contest
It’s that time of year again folks. You know, the one where we get inundated with orders to express our love for our significant other on one certain day, usually in the form of food/jewelry/chocolates, and if we don’t we are to be forever branded as commitment-phobes? Yes, Valentine’s Day, that’s the holiday! Yay, the time has come to once again squeeeeeeeeze our way into our Spanx and go out with all the other boobs attempting to show their unique love at The Melting Pot. Luckily for you, we here at Wordsmoker HQ sympathize, so to help dull the aggravation, I am happy to bring you The Third Annual Wordsmoker Valentine’s Day Love Contest. (Wow that sure is a mouthful.) From now until February 13th at midnight (and probably a little bit after) you can submit your Love, Sex, or Valentine’s Day themed poems, rants, stories, opinion pieces, et cetera for consideration. Here are the rules: Read the rest of this entry →
August 22, 2012 in Wordsmoker Publishing
All I can say is “HAH, EVILDOERS, HAH!”
Why am I laughing? Just a little karma, is all. Just a wee bit of schadenfreude, and it is oh so satisfying. You see, a little while ago, maybe six months, I was a customer of Chase Bank. I had a checking account and *shudder* credit card. If you’re my friend on Facebook (and if you are, count yourself lucky, peasant), you might have seen my jubilant post the day I FINALLY paid down my credit card and closed out the account. It felt so good to finally be done with that bank and their horrid customer service. But this feeling I have now, this delicious little bit of “nanny-nanny-boo-boo, motherfuckers” I have going on right now? It’s so good my toes are curling. Read the rest of this entry →
August 10, 2012 in Wordsmoker Publishing
O·pin·ion : [uh-pin-yuhn], noun
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty, or
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
Act : [akt], noun
1. anything done, being done, or to be done; deed; performance: a heroic act.
2. the process of doing: caught in the act.
February 7, 2012 in Wordsmoker
Hello, my darlings, and Happy Tuesday! I am interrupting your stream of cat videos and hentai porn to to bring you wonderful breaking news: I’M COMING TO NEW YORK CITY AT THE END OF THIS MONTH! This is not a drill! This is the real deal, folks, so don your crash helmets and have a donor liver on standby, because I expect debauchery and at least one of you to get arrested before this whole thing is said and done. Bonus points if you get arrested for your particular brand of debauchery while dressed as a Republican presidential candidate.
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January 23, 2012 in Micro-Fiction Roundup
Greetings, Smokers and Smokerettes! This is just a quick reminder that we are still doing the Micro-Fiction Roundup, and maybe you should mosey on over and, you know, give it a try. I mean, I know that you're a wordy-wordkins, and you know you're a Wordzilla, but don't you want everyone else to know? Of course you do. Wait, you don't? Look at you, being all humble and shit. But that doesn't make my little contest work, so can't you just do it or me? Pretty please? Look, just do it or I'll break your getaway sticks, how about that? Thought so.
Micro-Fiction Roundup XLVIII: Paging Dr. Embarrassment to Emergency
January 22, 2012 in Crime and Punishment
If you've read the grand jury report surrounding the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse crimes, you'll agree that there are plenty of despicable people at Penn State who should not only be shrouded in public humiliation, but should also do some hard jail time.
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January 14, 2012 in 5 Second Movie Review
There were several points throughout this movie that I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I forgot that's Meryl Streep!" Looks like another Best Actress for your mantle, darling.