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by Latterday Lenin And The Worrywart

Brother Hood: The Show Must Go On (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

April 1, 2010 in Homosexuality Pioneers

11:22 PM

LL:  Will you sing me The Teddy Bear Bedtime Song?

WW:  What in the name of fuck is The Teddy Bear Bedtime Song?

LL:  You know, the song you sing to little cubs after they’ve had their midnight snack of graham crackers and honey.  Or sometimes, if they’ve been extra good, you put some berries and bees on it and top it off with another graham cracker to make a little sandwich.  Then you tuck them into their little beds and sing them The Teddy Bear Bed Time Song.

WW: Oh, Jesus.  Jesus fucking Christ.  Not this again.  Fine… how does it go?

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Brother Hood: This Is The End (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

March 25, 2010 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

LL:  Why do we get flirted with everywhere we go?  This didn’t happen back in the States.

WW:  Why?  Who’s flirting with us?

LL:  That gray-haired upper-class man over there.  The one we always see chain smoking in front of the horse club. Read the rest of this entry →

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Brother Hood: Dispatches (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

January 11, 2010 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

FROM: WORRYWART

TO: ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10th, 2010

Dear Friends,

Please forgive me for having taken so long to update you regarding our protracted, and very busy, absence from the United States these past several months.

At present we’re seemingly in the throes of an unusual transition and although I’ve no one but myself to blame for it, I’m not certain that blame, qua “blame,” means much, or is at all apropos, in the context of recent events. Read the rest of this entry →

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Brother Hood: Or Else A Cherry, Double Grac’d (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate The Boundaries Of Domestic Bliss)

January 1, 2010 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

10:27 PM

LL: If you hadn’t parked the car, we wouldn’t have been enveloped by that cloud of locusts.

WW:  I didn’t park the car.  I brought it to a full stop.  Because of the two little girls running around in the street screaming in terror.

LL:  They weren’t screaming in terror.  They were screaming “¡Que impresionante!“  Which is, I believe, an expression of agreeable awe.

WW:  Agreeable? Then why were they sobbing?

LL:  Speaking of disturbing behavior, all of the waitresses are staring at you.

WW:  Why?  I don’t look like a locust.  Read the rest of this entry →

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Brother Hood: Songs of Experience (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

December 7, 2009 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

judio9:43 AM

WW:  “I don’t want to rent my house to Jews.”   The real estate agent just called.  He said the woman who owns that four-bedroom place we want told him, “I don’t want to rent my house to Jews.”

LL:  And just what is that supposed to mean?

WW:  That she hates Jews.

LL:  We should just go ahead and rent the house, anyway. Let’s go shopping for hammocks and barstools.  Let go and let God, right?

WW:  We can’t. She won’t rent to Jews.

LL:  Letting a mean-spirited dyslexic push us around is no way to set a good American example for this community in terms of upholding basic human rights. Read the rest of this entry →

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Brother Hood: Songs of Innocence (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

December 2, 2009 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

chagas9:24 AM

WW: Would you trust two handsome young men if they told you they were agents from a domestic intelligence-gathering organization?

LL:  I dunno.  Probably.  Why?

WW:  Well, they were here a few minutes ago.  You just missed them.  Did you get my cigarettes?

LL:  Of course.  What did they say?

WW:   They didn’t say much.  They confiscated your accordion.

LL:  Why in the name of God would anyone do something so horrible?  Why did you let them?

WW:  It was either let them seize the accordion or let them take you to the basement of the municipal stadium for a “talk.”  There seems to be some sort of unfortunate cultural misunderstanding. Read the rest of this entry →

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by Latterday Lenin And The Worrywart

Brother Hood: The Endless Plain of Fortune (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

November 23, 2009 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

ferrethammock6:13 AM

LL: How do you say “ferret hammock” in Maya?

WW:  How did you find me?  I thought you were asleep.

LL:  I found you hiding in this closet the last time I woke up and you weren’t lying beside me.  You’re a creature of habit.  Just like Patty Hearst.

WW:  Can you smell fear hormones?  Is that how you found me?  I tried to be so quiet…

LL:  You’re dodging the question.  Again. I want you to listen carefully.  How do you say “ferret hammock” in Maya? Read the rest of this entry →

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Brother Hood: More Die of Heartbreak–What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

November 20, 2009 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

giraffe tongue2:42 AM

WW: That “giraffe tongue” thing you keep doing.  It’s one of the things we really need to talk about.

LL: What?  What “giraffe tongue” thing?

WW:  I’m talking about when you take the back of your hand and gently run it up the back of my neck while I’m trying to sleep.  Or read.  Or trying to eat a meal.  Whenever.  I don’t understand why you keep doing this.   When I ask you why you keep doing this, you say, “The giraffes are licking you!”

LL:  I’ve told them to stop!  I only want to protect you from their germs.

WW:  See, this is a good example of why we argue all the time. Read the rest of this entry →

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Brother Hood: A Harrowing Memoir of the Beautiful Cruelty Men Inflict Upon Men When They Are Pioneers of Domestic Boundaries in Their Usual Bed on a Night Full of Rain While a Cruel Joke of Destiny Lies in Wait Around the Corner Like a Bandit with Bad Nerves – (“Il Quartiere della Fratellanza: I Ricordi Sinistri della Crudeltà Bella che Gli Uomini Infliggono degli Uomini Quando Sono Pionieri dei Confini Domestici nel Loro Letto al Solito in una Notte Piena di Pioggia Quando uno Scherzo Crudele del Destino Attende dietro l’Angolo come un Brigante con Problemi Psichiatrici”) (Two Homosexual Men Negotiate the Boundaries of Domestic Bliss)

November 12, 2009 in Brother Hood, Homosexuality Pioneers

COP 3:17 AM

WW: Dogs can’t chew tobacco.  You know why?  Because they don’t have lips.

LL: OK.  Please.  It’s three in the morning. I’ve been trying to wrestle that bottle of amphetamine salts from your hands since midnight.

WW: But you weren’t complaining when you saw how great the furniture smelled!  “See!” I said,  “It smells like sage.  Fresh sage!  That’s the sage oil for ya!”

LL:  Yes, it smells lovely.  Just like fresh sage.  I appreciate furniture that smells like fresh sage.  I do. I really do. But it is very late. I want to sleep.

WW:  Your little spates of fatigue sure come at unusual times!  I just polished all that furniture by myself! Can you smell it?

LL:  And you did a great job. Can’t we please try to sleep now?

WW:  I hope you’re attacked by animals that have cancer.

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