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You Never Call, You Never Write: One Woman’s Existential Internet Crisis

December 28, 2011 in This Is The Internet

Twinings Tea from Irish BreakfastIrishBeakfast here.

Funny, it’s been so long that I’m not quite sure whether I’m Irish Breakfast, Irishbreakfast or IrishBreakfast—call me IB. It’s odd, how soon we forget—really forget, not in a clichéd “oh god I just can’t remember” way. I can’t remember my Wordsmoker, Facebook or Gmail password, and because my IB “identity” was set to a not-really-me gmail, it’s all gone. Well, it’s all still there but I can no longer access that part of my life, at least in those particular venues.

I ducked out from Wordsmoker and Facebook last May, when I went off on the usual summer adventure. It didn’t turn out well, and that’s all I’m saying about that.  The physical, emotional and financial repercussions were such that I didn’t think about IB until sometime around October, and then it was only to wonder that I’d ever had so much free time to write (outside of things that I’m required to write).  And, to be honest, to wonder that I’d ever ‘cared’ so much for people that I didn’t know.

Read the rest of this entry →

You Never Call, You Never Write: One Woman’s Existential Internet Crisis

December 28, 2011 in This Is The Internet

Twinings Tea from Irish BreakfastIrishBeakfast here.

Funny, it’s been so long that I’m not quite sure whether I’m Irish Breakfast, Irishbreakfast or IrishBreakfast—call me IB. It’s odd, how soon we forget—really forget, not in a clichéd “oh god I just can’t remember” way. I can’t remember my Wordsmoker, Facebook or Gmail password, and because my IB “identity” was set to a not-really-me gmail, it’s all gone. Well, it’s all still there but I can no longer access that part of my life, at least in those particular venues.

I ducked out from Wordsmoker and Facebook last May, when I went off on the usual summer adventure. It didn’t turn out well, and that’s all I’m saying about that.  The physical, emotional and financial repercussions were such that I didn’t think about IB until sometime around October, and then it was only to wonder that I’d ever had so much free time to write (outside of things that I’m required to write).  And, to be honest, to wonder that I’d ever ‘cared’ so much for people that I didn’t know.

Read the rest of this entry →

You Never Call, You Never Write: One Woman’s Existential Internet Crisis

December 28, 2011 in This Is The Internet

Twinings Tea from Irish BreakfastIrishBeakfast here.

Funny, it’s been so long that I’m not quite sure whether I’m Irish Breakfast, Irishbreakfast or IrishBreakfast—call me IB. It’s odd, how soon we forget—really forget, not in a clichéd “oh god I just can’t remember” way. I can’t remember my Wordsmoker, Facebook or Gmail password, and because my IB “identity” was set to a not-really-me gmail, it’s all gone. Well, it’s all still there but I can no longer access that part of my life, at least in those particular venues.

I ducked out from Wordsmoker and Facebook last May, when I went off on the usual summer adventure. It didn’t turn out well, and that’s all I’m saying about that.  The physical, emotional and financial repercussions were such that I didn’t think about IB until sometime around October, and then it was only to wonder that I’d ever had so much free time to write (outside of things that I’m required to write).  And, to be honest, to wonder that I’d ever ‘cared’ so much for people that I didn’t know.

Read the rest of this entry →

Inevitability

April 11, 2011 in Life

There wasn’t shit I could do about it. It was almost done. Not quite, but almost. I had everyone’s number and I called a few, asking them what they knew, how they’d handled it. I got recommendations but I never followed up. I got dozens of suggestions but it was too overwhelming. All I could think about was all the different ways things could get even worse if I fucked something up. The way it was going then, I knew how it would end. Everybody knew, but some just kept offering up ways to stop it, to fix it. Read the rest of this entry →

Inevitability

April 11, 2011 in Life

There wasn’t shit I could do about it. It was almost done. Not quite, but almost. I had everyone’s number and I called a few, asking them what they knew, how they’d handled it. I got recommendations but I never followed up. I got dozens of suggestions but it was too overwhelming. All I could think about was all the different ways things could get even worse if I fucked something up. The way it was going then, I knew how it would end. Everybody knew, but some just kept offering up ways to stop it, to fix it. Read the rest of this entry →

Inevitability

April 11, 2011 in Life

There wasn’t shit I could do about it. It was almost done. Not quite, but almost. I had everyone’s number and I called a few, asking them what they knew, how they’d handled it. I got recommendations but I never followed up. I got dozens of suggestions but it was too overwhelming. All I could think about was all the different ways things could get even worse if I fucked something up. The way it was going then, I knew how it would end. Everybody knew, but some just kept offering up ways to stop it, to fix it. Read the rest of this entry →

Inevitability

April 11, 2011 in Life

There wasn’t shit I could do about it. It was almost done. Not quite, but almost. I had everyone’s number and I called a few, asking them what they knew, how they’d handled it. I got recommendations but I never followed up. I got dozens of suggestions but it was too overwhelming. All I could think about was all the different ways things could get even worse if I fucked something up. The way it was going then, I knew how it would end. Everybody knew, but some just kept offering up ways to stop it, to fix it. Read the rest of this entry →

Vulnerability

February 21, 2011 in Abuse

My knee was shattered when I was eight. “Stepped on by that horse” is what my mother told the doctor. They asked me about the horse, about the horse’s size, about how it happened. I never deviated from “my mother can tell you what happened.” Three bones in my foot were also broken. By the horse.

My mother never did tell them. Even today, after three sets of bolts and a new titanium plate she says, “oh, it’s such a shame about that horse.” I wonder. I’ve always wondered. Has she now, with the passage of time, refashioned history? To me it no longer matters. It is my knee, and my knee and I have fashioned our own narrative. Read the rest of this entry →

Vulnerability

February 21, 2011 in Abuse

My knee was shattered when I was eight. “Stepped on by that horse” is what my mother told the doctor. They asked me about the horse, about the horse’s size, about how it happened. I never deviated from “my mother can tell you what happened.” Three bones in my foot were also broken. By the horse.

My mother never did tell them. Even today, after three sets of bolts and a new titanium plate she says, “oh, it’s such a shame about that horse.” I wonder. I’ve always wondered. Has she now, with the passage of time, refashioned history? To me it no longer matters. It is my knee, and my knee and I have fashioned our own narrative. Read the rest of this entry →