August 31, 2012 in Cinema
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August 30, 2012 in Wordsmoker Short Fiction
I know there’s a lot of gasoline on the floor right now. And it’s soaked through your clothes. You’re soaked right through. In gasoline. I’m not going to burn you right now. I figured your death about 10am, and it’s about 9.30 right now. That gives me thirty or so minutes. And you. Thirty or so minutes.
Your last thirty minutes.
I’m ahead of myself this morning. Beautiful morning.
Thirty minutes. I need a cigarette. So I’m going to stand over here at the door and have myself a cigarette. There’s fumes everywhere and later on today I’m going to shower for an hour or so to get rid of the smell. But right now? Right now on this beautiful morning? I need a cigarette.
Maybe we both need to relax a little.
Hey. You like this? This lighter? It’s not a Zippo. But it sure looks like one. I’ll tell you this – before I stand outside a little so I don’t blow us both up – this lighter? Given to me by the devil himself.
It was a gift.
I’m in a bar just off of the Lorimer Avenue stop. It’s some newish joint decorated with tiki torches and grass to make it look like one of those places where Tom Hanks hung out in Castaway—I can’t remember how that fucking movie went. I’m drinking whatever the opposite of a cosmopolitan is when I catch a swath of silver hair hovering over a tailored gray suit walking into the only bathroom in the place. This kind of thing usually doesn’t catch my attention, but in this particular case, the trip to the restroom was accompanied by someone next to me saying, “Was that Anderson Cooper?” The guy who says it looks pretty scruffy, so I don’t really give him a response, but I then realize that it is in fact Anderson Cooper going into the men’s room of this little hole in the wall bar in Williamsburg. Read the rest of this entry →
August 23, 2012 in Book Fuck Club
Alright! It’s time for our long overdue discussion of Aaron Rayburn’s sprawling satanic epic, The Shadow God.
In many ways, this book was worse than Moon People. In fact, it was entirely worse than Moon People. Although Rayburn seems, at the very least, to know how to use spell check and seems to have a high-school level grasp of sentence structure (something that Dale Courtney can’t claim,) this book was just awful.
But let’s talk about what made it so awful in the comments.
Blerg. I wasn’t going to watch this again, but since my new best friend Maggie replied to my tweet (Hey girlfriend!), I feel obligated to see this through to the bitter end. That means here we are again, ready for our blood pressure to rise at the very idea of girls of privileged means being forced to work *gasp* WORK! for no money and even less respect.
Also, there has been an incident with a real live intern and I think that it can be a teachable moment for young people. Let’s start with the real intern issues before moving onto the fake reality television intern issues. Read the rest of this entry →
August 23, 2012 in Our long national nightmare is over
Are you ready for the latest thing dropping out of the Octomom? Her hot new dance single, “Sexy Party,” will be released on Tuesday, September 4th, and Wordsmoker will be hosting a release party to mark the occasion!
Here’s a 30-second sneak preview of the song from TMZ!
August 22, 2012 in Wordsmoker Publishing
All I can say is “HAH, EVILDOERS, HAH!”
Why am I laughing? Just a little karma, is all. Just a wee bit of schadenfreude, and it is oh so satisfying. You see, a little while ago, maybe six months, I was a customer of Chase Bank. I had a checking account and *shudder* credit card. If you’re my friend on Facebook (and if you are, count yourself lucky, peasant), you might have seen my jubilant post the day I FINALLY paid down my credit card and closed out the account. It felt so good to finally be done with that bank and their horrid customer service. But this feeling I have now, this delicious little bit of “nanny-nanny-boo-boo, motherfuckers” I have going on right now? It’s so good my toes are curling. Read the rest of this entry →