You are browsing the archive for 2012 June.

Real, Reality, and Somewhere In-between

June 21, 2012 in Nostalgia, Old People Stuff, The Internet

I remember sex in 1997. It was so different then.* You met a man at work or at a party, you talked to him for a bit, he wrote your number in his Apple Newton, and a few days later, he called to make plans to see you again. And then, you had sex.

 

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Avatar of Vaquero

by Vaquero

Honeymoon Sex Advice

June 21, 2012 in sex

If you find yourself going on your honeymoon after five years of marriage without your children and your partner has a penis, this is what you should do:

 

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The Wordsmoker Dictionary – “Cobweblog”

June 21, 2012 in Wordsmoker Dictionary

I meant to write about this about three months ago, when fellow Wordsmoker and champion snorkler Little Trumpet said it on Facebook and I noted it down WITH A PEN AND PAPER on my desk and then stuck it to my wall like a big, flat yellow spider without legs and square. Anyway – a

COBWEBLOG

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My E-Mail To “Yo, Should I Dump This Asshole?”

June 20, 2012 in Dating

Check Out This Hot Pussy Action

June 19, 2012 in Cats

Both of my cats shit on the lie that cats are not social creatures. Both of them love human company, and Henry is a champion peacemaker and befriender of all cats. And I get a fair few passing through. The kitchen window at the rear of the house is kitteh Mecca. Whoever jumps up to it usually gets a little treat while they sit and survey the garden before them. And Henry likes them all. When Ben was alive the two of them were as thick as thieves. Wherever Ben went, Henry followed. They slept in the garden together, shifting their bodies in the sun like furry sundials. Now that Ben’s no longer with us, Henry’s been a bit at a loose end, friend-wise. But no more. Let me introduce “Emma”, Henry’s new girlfriend. She’s a beauty.

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“Miss Advised” Is An Understatement

June 19, 2012 in Fameballs, Recaps, television


Welcome to your first (and probably only) recap of Julia Allison’s television realitorial debut, Miss Advised, where Ms. Allison and two other sad, lonely women play dating advisors who are single, a few years past their prime, and can’t seem to follow their own advice.

Let’s get the also-rans out of the way before letting that big, tasty spotlight shine on our old friend Julia, shall we? Read the rest of this entry →

I Just Updated Things Here

June 19, 2012 in Wordsmoker Publishing

Where were you at 11.36am, GMT? Asleep? Dreaming of the redhead from True Blood in her undead undies playing Guitar Hero? If you were, then JINX. I was just thinking that while writing that sentence, because that’s what I do around here – besides bring critical software up to date – I dream then I write down my dream and sometimes they don’t involve clowns at all. Absolutely zero clowns. Nada clownage.

Not. One. Fucking. Clown.

You – like me – agree that only the mental image of a beautiful redhead towering over us with her soft, glowing cleavage and inner thighs framed by the silkiest of stockings can defeat the HeadClowns in us all.

What I meant to say is that if anything isn’t working today then say something in the comments and I’ll poke fun at your parents’/pets expense.

Book Fuck Club: Moon People

June 18, 2012 in Book Fuck Club

All write, Book Fuckers!  We’re at Red Alert on Lunar Base 1 and the Powleen ships are approaching rapidly.  It’s also time to talk about this month’s book selection, Moon People.

I’m still trying to decide if I believe this author is serious, or if this is a Flaccid Ego-style prank that some mad genius has played on the world.  I’m leaning towards the former.  I kept waiting for the overtly absurd moment in the narrative that would have revealed that the author was punking us the whole time, but that moment never came.  It’s just too banal to be satire.  Read the rest of this entry →

It’s A Big Night On Wordsmoker

June 18, 2012 in Book Fuck Club

Stay Tuned!