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Dirty, Sexy, Techy

June 22, 2012 in Technology

ROBOT BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER FOR HIRE

IS YOUR ROBOT SPECIAL, BUT YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS IT? I’M A SERIOUS SEMI-PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER WHO WILL BRING OUT YOUR ROBOT’S INNER HOTNESS!

NO REQUEST IS TOO RISQUE. YOU RETAIN ALL DIGITAL IMAGES AND FILES. SO, YOUR ELECTRONIC FRIEND’S PHOTOGRAPH DOESN’T SHOW UP ON ONE OF THOSE POPULAR ROBOT FETISH SITES!

I SHOOT ALL ROBOTS AND ANDROIDS WITH AN IPHONE 4 AND HAVE ACCESS TO A FRIEND’S INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT! I PHOTOGRAPH:

ROBOTS

CYBORGS

ANDROIDS

AUTOMATONS

DRONES (DOD REGULATIONS APPLY)

BOMB DETECTORS

ROOMBAS

SPHERICAL/POLARS

SCARAS

GANTRYS

I DO NOT MAKE ROBOT PORN! I HELP EXTRAORDINARY ROBOTS TO APPEAR MORE GLAMOROUS THROUGH THE USE OF LIGHTING, COLOR, AND IMAGINATION. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY, YOU NEED TO LOOK ELSEWHERE!

OVERLOAD YOUR MECHANICAL COMPANION’S MOTHERBOARD WITH A HEALTHY HELPING OF WARM, VISCOUS SELF-ESTEEM. SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY: CLATRIGUE@LIVE.COM

DISCREET!     PROFESSIONAL!     FUN!

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    Fine. You can write about anything you want in these comments, even if it’s not robot related.

    LatterdayLenin: Not sure how bad the book is, but this looks like it may be a candidate for Book Fuck Club:

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/uncivily-obedient-2-2/ uncivilly obedient

    Why is everyone on this site so obsessed with sex? Can’t someone write about other things, like masturbation?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/latterdaylenin/ Latterday Lenin

    Do you have an Etsy shop?

    Also, while the cover of Time Ninja certainly meets our standards of horribleness, I read the free sample, and dude seems way too competent a writer to be featured for Book Fuck Club. It’s also 550 pages long.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

      It’s going to be hard topping Moon People. I am thinking about reading the second one. I really just want to find out what’s involved with the trade we established with our new friends. Chocolate ice cream for warp drive? It boggles the mind.

      • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/latterdaylenin/ Latterday Lenin

        I just discovered you can download Moon People 2 from Xlibris for 10 bucks. I know what I’m doing this weekend!

      • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/latterdaylenin/ Latterday Lenin

        First sentence from Moon People 2:

        “This story begins off the planet of Mars where the Lunar Base 1 has positioned itself for 6 mouths of exploration and study for a possible genesis for colonization.”

        This is going to rock.

        • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

          I wonder what amazing race of people we will encounter next.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/misslinda/ misslinda

    I DO NOT MAKE ROBOT PORN!

    Yeah, that’s what Misses Peacock said about her pet photography business, too. But then you sign your four-legged friend up for a session and the next thing you know, he can’t stop licking himself.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

      Maybe I should team up with her. Pets and robots? That’s just using two and two!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/perverseus/ perverseus

    Generally speaking, if your robot has inner hotness, it’s a result of a faulty microprocessor. There is nothing fun about blowing a motherboard, no matter how filthy it sounds.