Wordsmoker

Happy Easter!!! Well, if you celebrate Easter I suppose.

Normally I am caught by surprise and forget it is Easter until it has passed. This year was not any different. I came to work after hibernating in my lair, and spent the first hour and a half pretending to be nice to Undergraduates while scrolling through Tumblr and Facebook. It wasn’t until twenty minutes ago that I decided, not to actually begin doing any work, but to stretch and pace back and forth the office. I came across these little Easter Bunny droppings which I had stepped on. Wtf, the previous shift left a huge cluster fuck of a stupid mess–I thought. Then I found more around the corner, and realized it wasn’t just candy wrappers and garbage. It was chocolate. An endless supply of chocolate.

I know Easter is sometime in April, and since it is April and there is chocolate it must be Easter!

When I first arrived to this university two years ago I met October’s snuggle buddy. He was an existentialist smart-ass who really liked me, but he had been raised by parents with $250 000+ annual incomes which meant he did not need to live the life I had to live at this point. He had an entire house to himself, and several other houses in other countries he would fly to whenever he felt stressed out by the grueling study of linguistics, partying, sex, and existentialism. Did I mention he really liked me?

Well, despite the worst cuddling I’ve ever endured–he was probably the closest thing I had to a friend in this place. When I disappeared over the summer, I did not bother to keep in contact with him. I miss making fun of Mormonism and talking philosophy with him while alienating everyone else with big words, but when I thought about whether or not I could reconnect… I realized I had forgotten his name. I only referred to him as October, which was often followed by a disgusted sort of chill down my spine.

Anyway, after coffee we walked around campus and he decided he needed to go to the bathroom. Having infinite resources and probably no reason to fear anybody or anything, he decided to go to the bathroom outdoors onto the side of the office I am currently working in. That was before I started working here, and strangely enough it felt absurdly right in some strange way because I had extrapolated from the local population that I probably wouldn’t have liked anyone in the office anyway. This was true in the end, but he flew away to some European city despite having a near 4.0 GPA because he was too lazy to do his last exam. He pretended to have had cancer or something even though he had been having sexual relations with this professor and probably could have manipulated his way out of it, he wanted to go to Amsterdam instead. So, he did.

This place has been, like any major Canadian city, a reason to observe the absurdity of the world and find a way to be polite, distant, and calm; which is distinctive of the neural character that patterns itself here.

I am sorry that I kicked him out of the bed when he shoved his tarantula hands down my pants, and I am sorry I forgot his name. But it is Canada, and I am glad I met him.

I am going to attach a screenshot of some of the chocolates I found. I am going to close the office, because nobody’s going to notice on a Saturday. I am going to go try to find more of the chocolates spread around the complex. I’ll probably be wandering around in the stairwells. Bye!!!