Yeah, Shut Up, I’m Hacking The Site With Hammers

February 27, 2012 in Wordsmoker Publishing

Dear Wordsmoker

You may have noticed that it’s been quiet around here for the past few days.

You may have wondered why.

I shall honor your question by proclaiming that you should not be alarmed, for this is only the eternal ebb and flow of Wordsmoker.

Pray not in fear, for I always hear your questions.
Sometimes – at night – I hear you reply from the plughole in my kitchen sink. You whisper of ill-things and unparrelled horror.
I put on Radio 4 to cover your voice.

Popular? Hell, we all know Wordsmoker’s sometimes popular. Sometimes, it gets read. Sometimes, people write. On Wordsmoker. Exciting things. Pleasurable things. Incisive things.

Things that probe the limits of human conscienceness.
Things sometimes as incisive and pleasurable and
as exciteable as a demon monster’s tentacle.

And sometimes – Wordsmoker – hell, it lies dormant. Asleep.

Sleeping like a demon monster,
who lies exhausted from all the fucking.

That’s Wordsmoker.

Tentacled Demon Monster.

Yes – our Eternal Winter is always coming, dear Wordsmoker, but it’s Spring at the moment so I’ve been hacking away at things related to Wordsmoker

quiet, like a mouse with a keyboard,
an actual fucking mouse, bitch -
and I’m in the server with my mouse hands, fixing stuff
and making things italic for no real reason.

So – dear Wordsmoker – I beg of you patience, my tiny lap dancer -

do not rub your rocket tits in my face just yet,
as I’ll be hacking away here until maybe Sunday

because in real life
I’m getting an Awesome Business Plan together
and I’m doing a lot of that with my penis
waking, sober hours.

I’m also drinking a collosal amount of tea, and Henry says hi.

GUN DOGS

Gun dogs.


  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    And please paste guns on images of dogs and post it in the below thread. Amen.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      Fucking gun-dogs rule.

      Get posting them gun-dogs.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/esther/ ethel-egg

    Someone on the radio just said “you sound like a banana cunt”

    brilliant.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      Banana cunt sounds tasty.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/esther/ ethel-egg

    though not directed at u dear virus. sorry for my silly remark. sorry love!

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      The last person to direct a banana comment at me ended up as my wife.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/kausaustralisandsaturn/ Worthless Emo

    Back when I still cared about life, as The Emo Goddess, we had plenty of demon monsters. I know there are genuine teacher-people out there, and we all love those. Other then that, I remember shredding western culture asunder in churches, schools, and little hamlets on the countryside. We pushed back with counterculture quite hard. What fun.

    We had possessions and exorcisms in art class, voodoo doll table flipping, and diarrhea hymns in ninja training. It was a full discourse that ran with piss from laughing too hard. I hope everyone gets the chance to Ebb and Flow with Demon Tentacles.

    Whatever plans you have cooking up Virus, you have me excited. Sadly, I do not not have an Emo Army of fat depressed angry women groveling at my feet anymore, but I can write.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      I look forward to your gratuitously sexual fan-fiction appearing here soon.

      Also – lots of students have to die in the woods.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/senorwences/ Senor Wences

    Fucking gun pup fuck you up, fucker.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/senorwences/ Senor Wences

      Fucking gun pup will fuck you up, fucker.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      That one is beyond my wildest dreams.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/kausaustralisandsaturn/ Worthless Emo

      This is magnificant

      • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/kausaustralisandsaturn/ Worthless Emo

        *magnificent

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/unfun/ Unfun

    gun dog

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      Adorable. AND DEADLY.

      I’d love to earn actual money by shooting photographs like this.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/unfun/ Unfun

    He asked on FB for a picture of a dog wearing a picture with a gun on it, or something. S o that’s what he gets til he explains to me wtf he is asking for.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      I just thought this would be a good page to find if anyone is Googling the phrase

      “gun dog”

      in the future. Then they’d land here and see all the nice pictures of dogs and guns.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    Does anyone else think this should also be a repository for the phrase

    “banana cunt”

    because it would be funny?

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      Vote here.

      • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

        No-one has answered here.

        • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

          People would just have to google the phrase and post some results. What could possibly go wrong?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    All these comments look so clean and readable now.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/berightback/ berightback

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG*

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG

    GUN DOG

    *性別 SEX
    男性 MALE
    都道府県 PREFECTURE
    千葉県 CHIBA PREFECTURE
    自己紹介 DESCRIPTION
    犬と遊ぶ事が大好きな50歳を過ぎたおやじです I’M JUST AN OLD DUDE IN MY FIFTIES WHO LOVES PLAYING WITH DOGS

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

      That’s a fantastic comment!

      COMMENT BOMBS!

      Gun dog the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

      I’ve also updated the post to include some dogs with guns imagery.

      GUN DOGS

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

      I had no idea of the existence of Gun Dog—now the official band of the Westminster Liberation Front.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    I WILL WORK ON THIS THREAD FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.

    I WANT IT SHOWING AS NUMBER ONE ON GOOGLE.

    GUN DOGS

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/uncivily-obedient-2-2/ uncivilly obedient

      I WANT IT SHOWING AS NUMBER ONE ON GOOGLE.

      bump

      • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

        Fuck Google. Let’s get some Bing! action going here.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/h-totheomo/ H. Totheomo

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/h-totheomo/ H. Totheomo

    GUN DOG

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/h-totheomo/ H. Totheomo

    Poop. Gun dog.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    I don’t have any gun dogs, but I do have this link to a cute kitty town.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    Oh well.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue
  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/unfun/ Unfun

    Gun dog pug

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/unfun/ Unfun

      MORNING LOLIES!!!! I fucking cheated! I put “gun dog pug” SUE MY ASS.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/militantrubberducky/ MilitantRubberDucky

      I fucking love that picture.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/militantrubberducky/ MilitantRubberDucky

    Dog with gun:

    Sniper Dog

    Dog AS gun:

    pew pew pew

    Thank you.

    • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

      I don’t know about sniper dogs. It just doesn’t seem like an honorable way to kill.

      • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/militantrubberducky/ MilitantRubberDucky

        Don’t be jealous of their superior camouflage skills and ability to tune out squirrel distractions when looking down scope.

        • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/kausaustralisandsaturn/ Worthless Emo

          I especially like these.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    I’ve updated the post to include the new images!

    GUN DOG.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    dog