Remember that feeling that you had when you looked across the dance floor at your high school sock hop and that cute girl or guy in whom you'd been interested catches you staring? How he or she stopped talking to his or her other sycophants just long enough to give you a smile. Do you recall how you felt when you realized that, although that person was everything you could possibly want in another human being, you fell far short of his or her expectations? Instead, the object of your desire was going pass you by for someone who had a shitty soul, but was slightly better at sports, or had developed breasts a little earlier than you did.
Do you remember what life was like before you realized that love was just a chemical reaction that could be deadened with alcohol, pharmaceuticals, and healthy dose of cynicism? Well, whether you do or not, it's time for the military-industrial complex to blitzkrieg us all with chocolate-filled bombs constructed from heart-shaped cardboard and covered with craven images of lightly armed cherubim. It's time for the powers that be to start extracting our wealth from us in exchange for price-inflated baubles. Well, not us—NOT HERE. In the words of Bill Pullman, "we will not go quietly into the night," because this is our . . .
SECOND ANNUAL VD LOVE CONTEST!
That's right. Last year's contest was so popular, Wordsmoker has refused to give up on the theme. But before I get to the contest rules, I've prepared a video collection of a symbol that has become synonymous with love (ever since the advent of Google Images): Love Hands!
Let's see how long that stays up before the Anti-Piracy Legislation Loving Feds shut it down.
From now until February 13th at midnight (and probably a little bit after) you can submit your Love, Sex or Valentine’s Day themed poems, rants, stories, opinion pieces, et cetera for consideration.
Here are the rules:
Your submissions must relate to love, sex, romance or the VD holiday itself. Naturally, people can write about how they embrace or shun any or all of these concepts. While stories about cats are always welcome, they must still follow the theme to be considered.
All pieces have to be original works and must not have been previously published on Wordsmoker.
All pieces must be submitted by midnight on Valentine’s Day Eve. (But, seriously, I have to post these things, so if you can get them in earlier, I would appreciate it.)
Author’s submitting articles should post under the category “Valentine’s Day Love Contest” for consideration in the competition. However, let’s face it, it will probably be considered even if you don’t.
You can post your piece any time from now until the contest deadline.
All pieces that aren’t submitted directly into WordPress should be e-mailed to CLatrigue@Live.com, since I’ve volunteered to do all of the posting.
For the love of all that is sacred, people, please include an image or link to an image for me. Tags are also appreciated.
Only one prize will be awarded to each piece. That is unless we get less than four submissions, which will be the total number of prizes. Although, that scenario sucks because it means that not many of you participated.
Contestants can enter multiple submissions.
Anything else that I can think of will be added in the comments section below.
Don’t post your pieces or nominations in the comment section. I know it’s tempting, but don’t do it; it ruins the contest-y feeling.
I will be judging you and your work because I'm super qualified to do it. I'll probably get some help via the rest of the Wordsmoker staff with this.
Here are the prizes:
The Love-tron – The leader of all awards. It is bigger and stronger than the other awards and has a cyborg heart. It’s given to the best overall piece.
The Venereal Lightning Bolt – If you win this award, don’t handle it without gloves. This award is given to the most sexually charged piece.
The Bucket of Warm Salt Water – This isn’t for just any tearjerker. The winner of this award will be the person who can literally wring a full bucket of tears from everyone’s eyes.
The Compromised Box of Chocolates – Like the discovery that you’re holding a box of cherry cordials that’s been partially eaten by rats, romance and holidays can often be quite disappointing. This award goes to the best story of bitter/unrequited/disappointing love.
If you're interested in learning what happened last year, click here. Otherwise, good luck to all of you poor damaged souls.