Micro-Fiction Roundup XLVIII: Paging Dr. Embarrassment to Emergency
December 31, 2011 in Micro-Fiction Roundup
(Wow, not only a winner, but you wrote the whole MFR? Careful, a gal could get used to this kind of treatment -Ed.)
Sorry for the delay in getting back results. I was squeezing in a quick set of 10 on the hack squat. After that some serious bicep curls, some flies, and a little time on the Pec Deck.
But before I get in to the results, a quick story about “abs.” This old guy I was treating for back pain (nothing serious–not like the guy who felt his pain with every beat of his heart. Yikes! That was a scary one). This was just simple, mechanical lower back pain. Anyhoo, he’s a guy about 70 years old. During the evaluation process he wanted to show me how hard he’d been working his abs,working his “one pack.”
Hey I hate New Year's Eve! For me it's always spent cleaning (during the day/evening) with the foreboding of those final fucking seconds dying away, never to be seen again, beating like an emotional migraine in my left upper thigh. New Year's Eve is for the birds, everyone. 
I'm actually feeling optimistic about 2012, apocalypse aside.
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For some reason that is still unknown to me, in the late nineteen-seventies, I began drawing pictures of individual sperm cells that supposedly represented what mine looked like just before devouring an egg. I'm fairly certain that I was aware that the sperm cell doesn't actually eat the egg—or that it doesn't have a mouth for that matter—but I wanted my sperm to be all angst-driven and formidable, so this concept made for a better presentation. Below are recreations of actual sperm images that I drew repeatedly from about 1978 to 1983 and then (shudder) gave to girls.
Pretty Los Angeles in 1947. A wide street and tall palm trees. Sunshine. The Murder House is now a dentist office. We have a lovely lady with long raven hair coming to visit the dentist. Femme Fatale? We learn quickly that the Dentist is not married. This lovely lady found out about this guy because her friend said that he did a good job FILLING her CAVITY. He makes special arrangements for girls with no money. I think it’s called Doggy Style these days. This girl does not care about her teeth at all, she just wants to get him hot for her. Maybe she’s here to have him remove her front teeth or something? That is how you really break into HOLLYWOOD, my dears. TAKE NOTE: she has a White Dahlia in her Black Hair. She gets the nitrous oxide and everything disappears.
