Conspiracy Corner – It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Edition
September 5, 2011 in Conspiracy Corner
We’ve had a climatically challenging time of it here on the East Coast lately. As you’d expect, there’s been a lot of speculation as to the “real causes” of these events. Was the Virginia earthquake caused by nuclear explosions at secret Deep Underground Military Bases (DUMB)? What accounts for the near-simultaneous earthquake in a seismically inactive region of Colorado? Could it be… Satan? sabotage of the military’s “vast intercontinental military tunnel complex?” Who knows? Until someone adds something fresh to the genre, I’m over conspiracy theories about natural disasters. Step it up, sheeple!
Hurricane Irene brought out the usual “natural disasters are an expression of God’s wrath” mouth-breathers, but people other than Michele Bachmann weighed in as well.
Even putting aside the question of whether anything God does can constitute a conspiracy, I’m not taking this bait this time. I’m not going to harp on HAARP, and I rest easy knowing that all this earth upheaval has sod all to do with the end of the world, scheduled for next month. (Had you forgotten?) But if a plague of locusts befalls us next week, all bets are off. Until such time, let’s focus on some other blitheringly bonkers news from around the web.
What really happened in Tucson, Arizona?
A federal judge ruled in May that Jared Lee Loughner, suspected of killing six people and injuring Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and 12 others, is mentally incompetent to stand trial. This is just as well, really, since the January shooting spree never happened.
So says Ed Chiarini, whose web site claims that the incident was nothing more than a Department of Homeland Security drill.
Loughner was obsessed with conspiracies about government mind control, the gold standard, and 9/11, and there’s evidence that he was a contributor to the popular conspiracy web site “Above Top Secret.” So it’s only fitting that Loughner would become the focus of conspiracy theories himself. His alienated behavior and disordered ramblings lead some to conclude that he’s a mind-controlled assassin. (See, for instance, here, here, and here.)
Chiarini thinks that Loughner’s alleged victims didn’t bleed as much as they should have bled, and that relatives of the deceased didn’t cry as much as they should have cried. But the crux of his argument is that many of the participants look too much like local police officers and actors. Most of the actors alleged to have played roles in this charade are tied to a production company called Radian-Helix Media. Parts they couldn’t fill were played by Pima County and Tucson police officers. Chiarini analyzes in exquisite detail photos from the Pima Sheriff’s Annual Awards booklets, as well as Facebook pictures of alleged associates of Radian Helix, to identify those bearing even a superficial resemblance to people in the news. This only proves that there are people who waste more time on the internet than I do.
Rep. Gifford’s doctor, her slain aide, former classmates of Loughner, Loughner himself, and various witnesses are all linked to either police officers or actors. The list is long. One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of this tragedy was the death of nine year-old Christina-Taylor Green. Featured in a book about children born on Sept. 11, 2001, called “Faces of Hope,” she was interested in politics and was eager to attend the Giffords event.
Yet according to Chiarini, Christina-Taylor never existed. Her part was allegedly played by a great granddaughter of Maurice R. Greenberg, the wealthy and politically connected former Chairman and CEO of AIG. I’m not naming the “actress” because she’s a child with no credible connection to the shooting. Chiarini has no such qualms, so you’re free to look at numerous photos of her all over his site. (She is rather adorable.) Christina-Taylor’s grieving mother, meanwhile, was played by a Tucson police detective.
Here’s an example of Chiarini’s highly refined powers of observation. Mark Potok of the Southern Poverty Law Center – “a group known for their hate filled rhetoric” – entered the story when he said that Loughner wasn’t in SPLC’s database of known extremists. Potok is said to be played by a captain in the Pima County Sheriff’s office. A photo on Chiarini’s site compares their ears, which may persuade the gullible to overlook that their faces look nothing alike. Potok and the SPLC are frequent targets of the far-right, but this is the first I’ve heard that Potok isn’t a real person.
Others have written about what they consider inconsistencies in official accounts of the Tucson shooting, but Chiarini’s simulacrum obsessions put him in a league of his own. The Giffords shooting is just one of many famous events that he maintains were faked, usually with the help of Radian-Helix or nefarious Pima County cops. These include the Fort Hood shooting, the Bradley Manning Wikileaks case, and Richard Reid’s attempted shoe bombing. “Fake” kidnapping victim Jaycee Dugard was said to be played by a transcription technician from the Pima County Sheriff’s office. Of the Casey Anthony “murder” trial Chiarini writes, “It seems like the Pima County Sheriff’s Department has been creating fake news for many years now.” Casey was played by a 911 operator from Pima County, while the so-called judge is actually a Pima County Corrections Officer.
The frothy stew of reasons suggested by Chiarini to explain why The Powers That Be (TPTB) go to all this trouble includes encouraging donations to “questionable” missing child campaigns, promoting anti-gun legislation, and fomenting the civil unrest that will allow them to usher in the New World Order and depopulate most of the globe. Take your pick.
(H/T: New York Times)
What really caused the News of the World to fold?
Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World ceased publishing on July 10, after 168 years, in the midst of a growing phone hacking and corruption scandal. Allegations of wiretapping and payoffs to police have plagued the News, one of the most widely read newspapers in the world, at least as far back as 2000. In 2006, an editor went to prison for hacking Prince William’s voicemail. What was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back?
Our go-to guy for the straight skinny, Henry Makow, Ph.D., speculates that Murdoch’s minions might have gathered intel on the wrong people this time, specifically the Freemasons, who “secretly control every aspect of British society.”
But the inimitable Sorcha Faal has a juicier tale to tell:
The Knights Templar needed to discredit Murdoch because he was about to make an earth-shattering revelation about the lineage of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. They had a child; their descendants are black. Allegedly, the Templars have dedicated themselves to protecting their progeny down through the centuries from Roman Catholics who sought to eradicate them.
The Templars were a Christian military Order closely tied to the Crusades who often figure in popular novels and conspiracy theories. Medieval lore had them in possession of everything from the Ark of the Covenant to the Holy Grail to the “True Cross.” Suppressed by the Inquisition, their riches stolen, the Templars disappeared from conventional history after the fourteenth century. But according to Ms. Faal, the Templars have long funded and controlled Murdoch’s media empire, including Zondervan, the religious publishing house he acquired in 1988.
Rumors that Jesus and Mary Magdelene were married or romantically involved are old hat. What Zondervan was set to reveal in a new book is that Barack Obama is a direct descendant of this holy/unholy union, come to establish peace among all humankind.
Should this knowledge about Obama be understood by the masses… the stability of the United States “could not be assured” as tens of millions of Americans would immediately revolt against him believing him to be the feared “Anti-Christ” prophesied to come in the last days of our Earth.
Of course, this fear is nonsensical. A couple of years ago people might have believed that Obama could walk on water. Now, not so much.
When will Obama finally admit that he is not a U.S. citizen?
He may be the great, great, great… grandson of God and a Nobel laureate to boot, but some people won’t believe Obama’s a real American until 8mm footage of his birth showing him crowning in the parking lot of a J. C. Penney in Indianapolis with a Kiwanis Club Trustee holding up that day’s New York Times surfaces on YouTube.
Even if we accept that he was really born in Hawaii, Obama still can’t be president, because Hawaii isn’t a state. This theory rests on the work of Hawaii sovereignty advocate David Keanu Sai, who gives no indication of being a “birther” himself. His doctoral dissertation on the political and legal status of Hawaii can be found here.
According to Sai, the pertinent facts are these: Hawaii was recognized as a sovereign kingdom when mercenaries backed by U.S. military forces overthrew Queen Lili’uokalani (pronounced “Lili’uokalani”) in 1893, with the intention of annexing Hawaii to the United States. The Queen protested to the incoming U.S. president, Grover Cleveland, who appointed a special commissioner to review the matter. The investigation concluded that the U.S. had precipitated the coup in violation of international law. President Cleveland pledged to restore the Hawaiian Kingdom in the “Cleveland-Lili’uokalani Assignment,” but failed to act on it before leaving office. In 1898, during the Spanish-American War, the U.S. annexed the Hawaiian Islands to use as a naval base, and Hawaii has been illegally occupied ever since.
Sai has filed suit against members of the U.S. government over their failure to execute the Lili`uokalani Assignment.
Back to the conspiracy theory:
[S]ince Obama claims to have been born in Hawaii, that would mean that he would have been born in a foreign country under illegal occupation. Since there is NO TREATY of annexation between the Hawaiian Kingdom Government and the United States of America, Hawaii cannot be a state of the Union.
As a peace offering to the wronged subjects of the kingdom of Hawaii, and as an end of summer tribute to my Wordsmoker friends, I offer the following video by Joe Kingston. He is the son of the great Chinese-American author Maxine Hong Kingston, who has called Hawaii home since 1967. Aloha!
