Lunch Break

July 18, 2011 in Life

There he was on the corner of Wall and Pearl. The only man who has ever left me crumpled up on the floor, begging him to stay. Twelve years had passed, but the sight of him still made me sick.

“Oh my gosh! Shorty! How are you?”

He opened his arms wide and gave me a crushing hug, but I couldn’t reciprocate. My arms were locked at my sides, busy trying to hold my body together. He noticed.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Not really mad, more like surprised to see you. Or something.”

“Well how are you? What are you up to? I see you’re married.”

I fidgeted with my wedding band and scanned his hands. There it was. The ring.

“So. Are you still married to her?”

He laughed a nervous laugh.

“Yes, Sondra and I are still married.”

“Then it was worth it. Leaving me like that.”

“I suppose it was. I’m very happy.”

“Well, good for you. So if this little reunion is over, I have to get back to work.”

“Oh. Okay. Can I call you sometime?”

“What for?”

“I don’t know, to catch up. Maybe go to lunch. I miss you, Shorty.”

I thought about it for a second. He never called to make sure that I was okay. He just left me there, alone, and started a new life with a new woman. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

“I’m sure you do miss me, but no, you may not call me. Don’t call me, don’t email me, do not send me a Facebook friend request, and for fuck’s sake, don’t add me to one of your Google+ circles. Knowing me is a privilege that you no longer have.”

“Wow, okay. Well, maybe I’ll run into you again sometime?”

“I hope not.”

“Goodbye, Shorty.”

He headed up Wall Street and although I needed to go in the other direction, I turned down Pearl. The tears welled up immediately. I dove into my purse for my iPhone and scanned my list of contacts. Who would understand? Choking back the tears, I called Grace.

“You’re not going to believe who I just ran into.”

“Jeffrey.”

“How did you know?”

“Because you’re crying.”

“Fuck.”

“Drinks later?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll email you.”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For knowing.”

“Well, you should just be glad that there weren’t more options to choose from.”

“Goddamn you and your bright sides.”

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/geodejane/ GeodeJane

    Hopefully everyone experiences the extremes of loving someone so much that it still takes your knees out from under when you see them even after twelve years have passed. Ironically, MissLinda, mine was a Jeffrey. Well done.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    @MissL (MissLinda): I know you hate this guy for calling you “Shorty,” but not letting him add you to one of your Google+ circles . . .

    I mean, what kind of monster are you?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/dieterthemasseur/ DieterTheMasseur

    Mine was a John. I cannot wish drug-resistant gonorrhea on him badly enough. Good for you, Miss Linda. Stay strong, sister!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mediahohoho/ mediahohoho

    These kind of stories make me glad I’ve always left them wanting less.

    But very visceral and honest piece of writing, MissLinda.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/kausaustralisandsaturn/ Worthless Emo

    As per the tag, I don’t know where Google plus is heading. I got the feeling from Google wave, that it had a superb visionary idea–given the follow through to a team of absolute idiots who ruined it. Snapshot socialization is lovely, but what about dynamism where dialogue happens!? Like messages.

    @ MissLinda, I think that your outcome is similar to how I would have dealt if I were in your shoes. I sat here thinking about what to write, reflecting on a separate page about my own experiences. Love is hard for me to articulate, aside from all my aspergers bullshit. There, that is all.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    @MissL: Next time drop your keys on the ground and bend over to pick them up. That’s my move.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    “Yes, Sondra and I are still married.”

    “Then it was worth it. Leaving me like that.”

    “I suppose it was. I’m very happy.”

    My guess is that he is either lying about this or will soon choke on these words. Guys hate being married.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    Thanks everyone. It was kind of a rough day so if I was particularly prickly with any of you (*ahem* Chillbear), that’s why.

    And no, I don’t think he was lying. He’s kind of an annoyingly calm person, always happy, never a bad word about anyone. I can imagine him being perfectly happily married. Also, to tie it all together and complete the picture, he was the one with the brown bag.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/dahlelama/ DahlELama

    Whatevs–if she ain’t MissLinda, it was an obvious downgrade. Loser.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

    “Knowing me is a privilege that you no longer have”, is a golden phrase that would have only occurred to me two days after an incident. Yeah, that’s what I should have said; in a Bette Davis voice followed by a sharp exhaltion of cigarette smoke.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    @ Blix: I’m going to amend that to “Don’t add me to one of your Google+ circles. Knowing me is a privilege that you no longer have,” and I’m going to use it to end every relationship in my life that has run its course.

    Don’t believe me, people? Try me.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

    @ Chillbear Latrigue:
    It’s like we’re secret ghostwriters for each other to avoid those, “Shoulda, woulda, coulda”, moments. It’s the Wordsmoker advantage.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    @ Blix:

    To be honest, I’ve used that phrase before. I don’t know that I would have been able to come up with it on the spot like that if I didn’t already have the words in my vocabulary. But it’s very effective, so feel free to use it, with or without the Google+.

    @ DahlELama:

    Thanks, but she’s gorgeous. Or at least she was twelve years ago, she’s probably a tired old hag by now with sagging tits and a flabby jowl. Doesn’t matter though, that was a major bullet dodged. I looked up his property records, he’s still living in a shitty little apartment in Queens. Queens!!! Can you imagine me living in a borough other than Manhattan or Brooklyn? In the game of life, I win. But it would’ve been nice not to have been beaten down along the way, you know?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/geodejane/ GeodeJane

    Chillbear Latrigue wrote:

    Guys hate being married.

    Christ on a handcart. Wheeling out that old song again. Plenty of men love marriage. In fact, some men marry other men.
    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF342eM90dY

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bjonston/ BJonston

    Next time, just kick him in the nutsack.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    @ BJonston:
    Too many logistical problems. He’s 6’4″, I’m barely 5’2″, so his nutsack is pretty high up off the ground. I don’t know if my kick would have even made contact. Also, I was wearing Havaianas which don’t pack too much of a punch anyway. Someone suggested punching him in the nads to avoid the height issue, but I have the upper body strength of a tyrannosaurus rex so it may have just come across as me making a grab for his dick which was not the message I wanted to send. Then there’s the racial component, me being a little white girl and him being a big black man and us being on Wall Street. The police would’ve hauled him off to jail before realizing that I attacked him, and it would’ve been a huge mess with a lot of paperwork and nobody needed that. So I wounded him with a zinger instead. I’m pretty proud of myself.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    >@ GeodeJane: Okey, I will check my bitter, bilious resentment toward the institution of marriage at the door for this post. I really was just trying to point out to MissLinda that happiness and marriage aren’t always synonymous, and that from my experience the disenchantment often occurs on the male side. It was more or less a sour grapes by proxy.

    @ misslinda:
    Sweep the leg.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/tristantzara/ tristantzara

    I sympathize, ML. I was madly in love once, and then deserted. A long time ago, also more than a decade, a period of time you might think, especially after having been married and ostensibly monogamous for quite some time, would help bury the proverbial hatchet. But alas…

    She too was almost imaginary in how exotic and tall and… um, friskily robust she was. We did dirty things. Terribly naughty, amazing things that even today I like to tell strangers about at the bar, even if it’s clear that they aren’t listening, or could care less. That’s how good it was. But she left me eventually, for someone who was, well, admittedly, not so self-centered and un -self-aware. I guess that’s my cross to bear, so to speak. Yet, I like being this way. I will not change. It gets me the attention I need and crave. Kind of like that “true blood” all the kids are talking about these days.

    I’ll keep you all posted on the various minutiae of the situation as it develops.

    This comment is dedicated to my wife. I know you are reading. Sweetie, please put on your eye-mask and go back to bed.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    @ Chillbear Latrigue:
    Miyagi hate fighting.

    @ tristantzara:
    I don’t really have any good stories to tell about being with Jeffrey. Pretty soon afterwards I was happy that the relationship was over and I regretted begging him to stay. But he left quite a trail of destruction in his wake. He really uprooted my life just weeks before he left, and that seemed so cruel and unnecessary. That’s really all I’m still angry about and the only reason why I give him more than even a passing thought.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fuldis-closure-2-2/ fuldis closure

    @ tristantzara: Hot! But you’re doing it wrong, because you forgot to call her “the” wife.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/geodejane/ GeodeJane

    Chillbear Latrigue wrote:

    Okey, I will check my bitter, bilious resentment toward the institution of marriage at the door for this post.

    How many times have you broken that promise? Don’t go changin’ Ole Bear. Besides, that soundbite brought Laurel and Hardy into the mix and that is never bad.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/tristantzara/ tristantzara

    @FD- Damn! You are right. opportunity missed. Please don’t get me in trouble. I’m a married man.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/gerbilsinlove/ gerbilsinlove

    Mine was a Brad (shut up) and his destruction went on and off for two years. It took me a year to recover after I finally got the balls to tell him to stay away for good.

    I haven’t seen him since then, and that was 17 years ago, but everywhere I go, every time I’m in a Target or eating in a restaurant, I still look, just in case. I hope it never happens, as I have aged 17 years in the meantime, and I am aware that I am no longer young, cute, and skinny. I don’t know if I would duck and watch him from afar, or reach out to touch him anyway. I might combust if I did.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    @ gerbilsinlove:

    Braaaad? What, you couldn’t have found a nice Blaine or Landon or Skip to go out with? And I hate to break it to you, but Brad aged 17 years as well. I know it tends to sit nicer on men than women, but still.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

    @ misslinda:
    We’re not here to judge. Mine was a Beth (they were out of Tiffanys).

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    @ Blix:

    I kid because I love, Gerbs knows that. And I wish Jeffrey had a stupid name I could mock, but no, he was just a Jeffrey. Beth sounds like a real bitch, by the way. Fuck her and her shortened name.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/gerbilsinlove/ gerbilsinlove

    @ misslinda:
    T. Bradley, to be exact. Very large penis. A blonde, which I’ve never been attracted to, Daniel Craig notwithstanding, but his his aforementioned penis made up for that.
    I also dated a Hank for a couple of years, and a Greg. But nothing tops Braaaad.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

    @ gerbilsinlove:
    Okay, if you insist, we’ll talk about penises. Jeffrey’s was quite large but he had “performance problems.” There never seemed to be any rhyme or reason for it, so every day was a crapshoot as to whether or not I would get to enjoy his giant penis. In hindsight that’s probably why he kept so many toys around. And also in hindsight maybe he was just worn out from fucking other women. To add to the mystery, he wouldn’t let me give him a blowjob which was kind of weird because never in my life have I known a man to turn down a blowjob.

    To summarize, worst relationship ever.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/dieterthemasseur/ DieterTheMasseur

    misslinda wrote:

    …he wouldn’t let me give him a blowjob…

    He was a robot who didn’t want your face to get close enough to notice the microchip embedded in the synthetic skin of his ballsack. That is the only possible explanation for not wanting blowjobs.

    I’ve got a history with Michaels and Johns and Davids who, mysteriously, all had small penises (which, I hasten to add, is not meant to reflect on any other Johns, Davids, or, um, Michaels who may be floating around WordSmoker). This was a problem because I am both anxious to please and be accepting of peoples’ differences, and a size queen. So then when I realized they were hopeless narcissists, I also had to face the fact that I’d been having all that unsatisfying, amateurish sex with small penises FOR NO GOOD GODDAMNED REASON!

    I hate men.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/militantrubberducky/ MilitantRubberDucky

    @ DieterTheMasseur:
    I was one of those girls who went out with guys because they had “nice personalities” for a while – yeah, I had self esteem issues, whatever. Recently, I have realized that it is possible to find a guy with a great personality and a whopper of a cock to boot, so yay! There is hope for us, Dieter my love.