Smokin’ Comment: Skahammer on the Majesty of Women’s Breasts
June 29, 2011 in Smokin' Comments
With the grace of God, and the timing of the unnamed naval officer who saves Ralph from a certain death at the hands of Jack and his minions at the end of William Golding’s prescient horror novel about a group of allegedly intelligent and civilized people on the Internet, Lord of the Flies, so came the poet Skahammer to deliver one of the most lovely comments ever on the feminine form.
I’m going to try to make up for my extremely late arrival with a truly substantive contribution.
The challenge posed by boobs is neither existential, ontological, nor moral. Clearly boobs exist, and they nicely fill out the 36C-sized category of Things Which Are Good In And Of Themselves.
No, the challenge posed by boobs is clearly an aesthetic and social one: How does one go about expressing one’s appreciation of a nice set?
This has been a constant struggle in my life, to find the right words and moments in which to take notice of and celebrate the various thoracic wonders which I’ve encountered.
And I’m sorry to say, I frequently have not been up to the challenge. Often I will let a marvelous pair simply sail by me unremarked, possibly for years at a time, noted only via furtive glances, because the difficulty of finding a classy way to say “Wow, beautiful!” has trumped my powers of expression.
This, to me, is the key philosophical question of our time: How may one respond appropriately to beauty? Simply ignoring it is always safe, of course — but as a long-term strategy, I find it morally indefensible. Am I, as a dude, destined always to be simply a receiver of beauty, a viewer of shapes — without ever trying to reflect some of that pleasure back to the person (the woman, in this case) who spreads it liberally around like perfume or prepositional phrases? Is there nothing I can do to express how beautiful a curvy figure is? Surely that’s not the way the rules were written in Aesthetic Heaven. Yet often, pressed by my own conscience to find an acceptable way to say (in substance) “You have a beautiful figure” — my efforts to keep up my end of this bargain nevertheless fall at the first hurdle. It’s a problem I’ll never solve in all my life, I imagine. Do others struggle with this difficulty? Maybe they do.
In conclusion: Wow, beautiful.