If Chillbear Showed His Penis

If Chillbear Showed His Penis. . .

June 9, 2011 in Wordsmoker Poetry

If Chillbear showed his penis, would the world stop and take notice?

Would a girl show it to a another girl, who would show it to a boy, who would show it to yet another girl?

Would one forward it to ten, who would then forward it to a hundred, who would forward it to ten million?

How long would it take before it reached the leaders of the world’s nations? Would Iran declare war on Japan just because they rhyme?

Would the world devolve into chaos, or would every man, woman and every other living thing finally realize that it’s only maybe five or ten pounds of relatively harmless flesh? Would they then shout, “ENOUGH! It’s just a magnificent penis! Let’s just get over it, everyone!”

Mormons would embrace Muslims; Guerillas would play with gorillas.

Heroin addicts might put down their needles; fundamentalists will start distributing condoms and just generally lighten the fuck up; florists will stop killing flora.

If Chillbear showed his penis, would it save the world?

Maybe.

But then what would happen to Chillbear?

Would he be fired from his oppressive, drug-free, mind-numbing government job?

Would he have to give up his aspirations of moving to New York and becoming the mayor?

Would radical elements declare a jihad on him and his priapismic protrusion?

If Chillbear showed his penis, would he ever find true love?

Would he ever be Chillbear again?

Tags: happiness, Healing, Hope, Love, Peace, Tranquility

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http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

So many questions, and only one way to find out the answers.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/dieterthemasseur/ DieterTheMasseur

Or would it be conquered by MechaChillbear’s Penis?
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

@ DieterTheMasseur: Is that from Transformers? I haven’t seen them yet.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/dieterthemasseur/ DieterTheMasseur

@ Chillbear Latrigue:
Nothing so timely — it’s a reference to a character first introduced in 1974′s Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. This is what he looks like (though I can’t, of course, yet imagine what MechaChillbear’s Penis would look like — you’ll have to talk to Special Effects about that):

In addition, South Park has taken up the theme with a running character known as MechaStreisand, who has reappeared several times over the years.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fuldis-closure-2-2/ fuldis closure

Stopped weeping long enough to comment. This is beautiful. Like William Blake, but with more penis.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/josiegroper/ josiegroper

I’d probably put it in a collage and forget about it… unless it was really spectacular – then I’d ask for your #!!
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/skahammer/ skahammer

Some type of long-term administrative leave, is my initial prediction.
http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

I love that Mormons would embrace Muslims and guerillas would play with gorillas, but heroin addicts might put down their needles. I got a subtle chuckle out of that. And you could’ve gone with a Dutch tulip, but no, you went French. Frenchy.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mama-penguino-2-2-2/ Mama Penguino

skahammer wrote:

Some type of long-term administrative leave, is my initial prediction.

Brilliant, Ska. And a possible attempt to apply for long-term disability benefits so long as there’s no “nervous and mental” exclusion. The question remains: service-connected or not?
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

Is this like one of those If a tree falls in the forest?
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

@ misslinda: For a lot of people with addictive personalities, heroin can be a tough habit to break. I’m just trying to be a little bit humble.

@ Vaquero: I think you’re setting an impossibly high standard. To answer your question, it’s smaller than a tree.
http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

@ Chillbear Latrigue:
Your little bit of humility is on full display in this poem.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

@ Chillbear Latrigue:

Okay. Is it bigger than a mustard seed?
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bjonston/ BJonston

The junkies wouldn’t notice. Unless Chill’s penis picture came with a bag of China White. Then they’d put their needles down, but only long enough to cook that shit up so they could slam it in their veins. Just sayin.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

@ fuldis closure:Nommie.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/kausaustralisandsaturn/ Worthless Emo

Oh wuvbear, when I was emo I would dream of creating world peace through love of penis, peach, and communism. I would sit outside and philosophize under a tree while skipping class, all about the nature of sexual morality as incentive for so much human behavior.

The thought of which sickens me now that I am older. I think we should nuke the earth and abort our humanity. Die die die die <3
http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

Interesting sexting scandal involving a police chief in Saratoga Springs, New York. It appears that sending penis pictures from his city hall office would’ve been okay had it been consensual, and had he not mentioned her by name in his statement to the media:

http://wnyt.com/article/stories/S2151551.shtml?cat=300
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/monkeyrash/ monkeyrash

I agree with misslinda. Only one way to find out.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bigleggedwoman/ BigLeggedWoman

May I invite others to thank you for keeping your drug-free, ‘mind-numbing’, government job?

You know; for old times’ sake.
http://wordsmoker.com/members/misslinda/ misslinda

Chillbear Latrigue wrote:

To answer your question, it’s smaller than a tree.

Vaquero wrote:

Is it bigger than a mustard seed?

I just realized that Weinergate has given us all a new point of reference.

Wordsmoker