Conspiracy Corner – Read It Before It’s Too Late Edition
May 21, 2011 in Conspiracy Corner
There’s no time to explain why this feature hasn’t appeared in eons, or to make my traditional, lame excuses for leaving you in the lurch when it comes to vital news of the frivolously flaky. As everyone on earth knows, the Rapture occurs later today. This End of Days prediction comes from Harold Camping, an 89 year-old civil engineer and radio host who calculated that May 21 is the 7,000th anniversary of the Great Flood.
Camping preaches that Judgement Day is coming on Family Radio, his broadcasting network. His followers spread the word through pamphlets, billboards, and ads on subways and busses. One acolyte from my own, much-maligned borough spent over $140,000 – his life savings – to spread the Word.
During the Rapture, those who’ve been “saved,” both living and dead, ascend bodily into heaven to be with the Lord for eternity. Things go all pear-shaped for those left behind, what with earthquakes and plagues and whatnot, until the world finally ends five months later, in October. Many biblical scholars put the period of “Tribulation” at seven years. But when you’re pushing 90, your time perspective skews towards the short term. Either way, it’s doubtful Wordsmoker will stay up, and it will be nearly impossible to get Chinese food delivered, so today’s pretty much it.
Camping once said that the Apocalypse would take place in 1994. Asked what a second failed prediction would do to his reputation, he said, “It wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
Why can’t the Jews just keep it in their pants?
Those wishing to deny their own looming mortality this week immersed themselves in the sex and power saga of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the prominent French politician and (former) head of the International Monetary Fund who was yanked off a plane at Kennedy Airport and arrested on suspicion of forcing oral sex on a hotel maid.
Some believe that Strauss-Kahn is being framed by The Powers That Be (TPTB) because he refused to obey their orders to bail out Western banks at the expense of the poor. But our old friend, Henry Makow, Ph.D., provides the straight dope.
Regular readers of this irregular column will recall that Dr. Makow exposed the hedonistic violence at the root of all gay sexuality, as well as the appalling influence of the sinister Illuminati over every aspect of our lives.
Dr. Makow reminds us that Strauss-Kahn is Jewish, and that the crime of which he stands accused is “typical of the satanic Sabbatean-Frankist [Jewish Messianic] cult that spawned the Illuminati.”
Our leaders have always been sex addicts easily blackmailed by the Illuminati. Makow’s list includes Bill Clinton, whose debauched character was essential for furthering Illuminati goals, and George W. Bush, who advanced the “homo-sexualization of society and [gave] ‘organized sodomy considerable control over the federal government.’” (I think I caught organized sodomy on ESPN late one night when I couldn’t sleep.)
Makow helpfully unearths an 80 year old sex accusation again American Zionist leader Rabbi Stephen Wise (1874-1949). A young reporter claimed Rabbi Wise raped her while he recited Psalm 24:7: “Lift up your heads oh ye gates; and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of Glory shall come in.”
According to Makow:
Apparently this is a Sabbatean (Illuminati) prayer after sex. The “King of Glory” is obviously the penis. The Sabbateans were a heretical Jewish Satanic cult that morphed into Illuminism, Communism, Freemasonry, Feminism, Zionism and “sexual liberation.”
After sex, my partners usually recite from Psalm 23:4: “Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
Was Obama’s mother a government agent?
The standard narrative of President Obama’s late mother, anthropologist Ann Dunham Soetoro, says that she was an expert on rural development who helped establish Indonesia’s ground-breaking microfinance program. She was a program officer for women and employment at the Ford Foundation in Indonesia and did field work on indigenous village industries. Her Ph.D. thesis on rural blacksmithing ran to more than 1,000 pages.
Said one Yale professor,
While many American academics tried to avoid antagonizing the repressive Suharto government, Ann Soetoro called attention to those the regime had failed to benefit: the village craftsmen, the plantation workers and urban scavengers, the underpaid workers in the shoe and clothing factories.
At least that’s what they want you to believe. Her real mission was to infiltrate Javanese villages on behalf of the CIA to assess the political leanings of the peasants. Little Barack in tow, Soetoro fingered communists and those sympathetic to Sukarno, the ruler that Suharto overthrew in a U.S.-backed coup, so that they could be targeted for assassination.
According to this theory, the CIA, the Ford Foundation and the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) all played a role in funding the so-called “field research” of Soetoro and other “mercenary anthropologists,” research which was nothing more than a cover for their lethal counter-insurgency activities.
As always, feel free to send tips, threats, and wild conjecture to renesance1 (at) gmail (dot) com. Hopefully I’ll have Wifi when I arrive “up there” later.