Get Your Seal Team Six Paraphernalia Now!
What Charlie Sheen is to crack-fueled ragers with Los Angeles’ most luxurious party whores, Seal Team Six is to defending the men and women of this country. If Sheen has tiger blood, these guys have crocodile sperm.
That’s why MissLinda and I are proud to announce the off-offshore founding of the Linsanto corporation, the officially trademarked Seal Team Six™ brand name, and our new line of Seal Team Six™-inspired products!
We are Americans, and being Americans, we deserve only the finest 99% cotton t-shirts made in countries with smaller gross domestic products and more business-friendly labor laws than ours. And since Christmas is right around the corner, why not surprise your family with Seal Team Six™ t-shirts?
Seal Team Six™ t-shirts are made with REAL computers, utilizing the latest in Photoshop technology.
Is your daughter or gay son going away to college? What better way to say “I approve of your life choices” than a Seal Team Six™ poster? Seal Team Six™ posters fit on most dorm room walls and are made from 60% flame-retardant material, which is good, because wherever there’s a Seal Team Six™ poster, things are gonna be hot HOT HOT!
And if you really want to say “I approve of your lifestyle,” you can give the little fag his very own DVD of our can’t-miss adult epic, “Seal Team Six™ Grunts.”
It follows the story of the Seal Team Six™ guys, from the moment they enlist in the Navy to the victory party following Osama’s killing in the mysterious Arabian village of Abottombad. See the boys training hard in the locker room, hazing each other in the barracks and congratulating each other for a mission accomplished in this 5-hour biopic starring Evan Strongbone, Rod Angle, Jack Seven and Dieter the Masseur.
Special features include outtakes, director commentary and a patriotic music video.