You are browsing the archive for 2010 August.

Happy Birthday, Virus!

August 31, 2010 in A Birthday With Shoes

Please steal a moment from your soul-deadening “careers,” random sex hook-ups, and abject self-loathing to join me in wishing our publisher, VirusWithShoes, a tremendously happy birthday. Besides providing us this space where we can meet, greet, and occasionally create things of value, Virus has been a good friend to so many of us.

Never expected, always welcome, Virus wanders amongst us like a spectral presence who leaves crumbs in the bed so you know he’s around.

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by Vaquero

Book Fight Club

August 30, 2010 in Wordsmoker Book Club

This is to let you know that our next book is Netherland by Joseph O’ Neill. Read the rest of this entry →

I Hope You Like Pain

August 28, 2010 in Kung Fu, Saturday Night Seminars

Chillbear asked me to cover the Wordsmoker Saturday Night martial arts seminar for him this week. I reminded him that my martial arts training was limited and long ago.  Moreover, I told him I wasn’t aware of any such Wordsmoker seminar. But he rather forcefully pointed out that I hadn’t been pulling my weight around here lately and said I should just suck it up. Or words to that effect. So, there you have it.

Tonight we’ll work on form with the help of the following instructional video, which has over 3,000,000 hits on YouTube.  My goal is to double that number by tomorrow.  My Zapruderesque analysis follows, but feel free to skip right to the cheerful mayhem and clinical self-delusion.

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Paris Hilton Held On Cocaine Charge

August 28, 2010 in Celebrity, Drugs

Although the knowledge that suppurating sore on the face of humanity Paris Hilton has been arrested and held in Vegas overnight may provide some schadenfreude-infused joy to your weekend, don’t hold out much hope for justice. She’s very rich and comes from a rich family and these people have the best lawyers that money can rent, so it’s obvious already that she was just carrying the cocaine for a friend or something and nothing – absolutely fucking nothing – will come of this, and in a few weeks time she’ll be getting paid to flash her STD-riddled crotch at a bunch of gormless patrons in some fucking hellhole of a nightclub for money and life will just continue for her as if nothing happened, whereas everyone else’s life will continue to fucking suck, the end.

The Chilean Miners: Thirty-Three Men Find Paradise in an Unlikely Place

August 27, 2010 in Word of the Day, Wordsmoker

After seventeen days of uncertainty, thirty-three miners trapped nearly fifty thousand miles below the Chilean surface were reported to be alive and well. Although it could take up to four months for the miners to be freed through a proposed 68 cm hole, they will be able to receive food, water and medicine via some sort of bucket and rope system, I’d imagine. With typical surface-dweller arrogance, tons of rescue equipment from around the world was rushed to the site. This being done with the assumption that the miners would want to be brought back to the surface of a world that once tried to bury them.

While miners make it possible to shod a horse or throw a Chinese star, ungrateful surface-dwellers pay them very little attention unless they are dead or dying—although in fairness to the surface-dwellers, the miners don’t exactly make it easy to come and see them because they’re hiding underground and whatnot. Read the rest of this entry →

Breaking News: Filipino Ex-Cop “Acting Stupidly”? Not So Fast

August 23, 2010 in Breaking News

Please Read: When I began writing this story, there was a report that the gunman claimed that two hostages had been shot, but there was no confirmation from the police, or information on the severity of the injuries. I wrote this after making a decision that I wouldn’t post it if any hostage was killed. When I hit the publish button, the police were reporting that the gunman had been killed, but had not mentioned any hostage deaths. I incorrectly surmised that the omission meant that all of the hostages were alive. When I checked back after an hour or so, the report that I read said that one hostage was in critical condition. Read the rest of this entry →

The Smokies: Theme Song Edition

August 22, 2010 in The Smokie Awards

Because nothing is more important in my universe than making the Smokies better and more interesting, I’ve been playing around with the idea of commissioning a pianist to co-write and perform a Smokies theme song. My vision is for a video crew to record the performer singing the song, and post it every week as an opening to the Smokies.

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by Vaquero

Star Wars

August 22, 2010 in Also

A few years ago I tried to get my kids to watch Star Wars and Superman. I thought sharing these films with them would be a wonderful experience. But movies have changed since I was young. My children couldn’t make it through the first 30 minutes of either film in which the characters are grounded in their worlds. It was grueling. Read the rest of this entry →

Boots In The Air — The Last Combat Brigade Leaves Iraq

August 19, 2010 in Iraq

After seven bloody years, with the loss of 4,415 of the finest individuals that this country could produce, the last combat soldiers leave Iraq. However, 35,000 to 50, 000 non-combat troops will remain.

Is this the end of the war? A regime toppled. A rebellion crushed. Is the peace sustainable? Was it all for naught? What does the future hold for this fledgling nation? Your thoughts here.