by Vaquero
July 31, 2010 in America The Fucked
I just came across this at Salon‘s This Week in Crazy! and became so angry I had to share it with you. In a recent interview, Oliver Stone said:”Hitler was a Frankenstein, but there was also a Dr. Frankenstein. German industrialists, the Americans and the British. He had a lot of support.” Read the rest of this entry →
July 29, 2010 in TERROR
This past week, I read a lovely story by Penny Danger, wherein two spiders, being the friendly sort, tried to hitch a ride in her bosoms. Being terrified of spiders myself, I relayed the heart-wrenching story of being bitten while gardening, and my subsequent scarring. I was never going to garden again, said I, much to Penny’s dismay; gardening was too dangerous.
July 28, 2010 in Micro-Fiction Roundup, Wordsmoker
Since Micro-Fiction Roundup’s inception, we have made significant gains on other major sporting franchises and monarchs. While the NFL is still ahead of us with Super Bowl XLIV (forty-four for novices), they have only had one event to our thirty-two in the last 18 months. If all goes well, we will overtake professional football in number of championship events within the year. Ultimate Fighting is at CXVI, but unlike the NFL, they have more frequent events. Still I am confident that if we persevere, we shall overtake them in the next two years. We have completely eclipsed the Bourbon succession of King Louis, which only made it to XIX. Read the rest of this entry →
July 28, 2010 in alcohol
I used to drink too much. I loved it all, except Scotch. I particularly loved gin. GIN. In a short glass with ice and triple olives. And I gave my heart away early: Beefeaters. None of the new-fangled gins could tempt me with their sexy ads and their wanton come-ons. Gin is made in Britain. It is dry. It is not smooth and it is not rough. It has a taste.
July 27, 2010 in My Dull Life
Life sucks, and will continue to suck, until I die. It’s happy thoughts like this that fill my mind soon after I awaken from yet another night of not sleeping very well. I pull on my clothes – which also suck – and stumble to the kitchen to make some tea. Tea – I think – is about the only thing that doesn’t suck these days.
July 25, 2010 in The Smokie Awards
Anyone sick of the advertising theme yet? I’m not, but I think that other than MFR (which deadlines at 200 AM), this will be the last piece that you see from me about advertising for at least a fortnight—maybe even a castlenight. However, in the spirit of my theme of the week, I decided to re-title all of your monikers to sound like products, services and consumables that one might see advertised. No need to thank me. I had fun doing it. Also, here are your awards:
July 23, 2010 in Mad Smoker
Because Mad Men’s season premiere is this Sunday, and also because I really want to inspire you to achieve greatness in this week’s Micro-Fiction Roundup, I decided to post a piece about vintage ads. However, as I was born approximately three years after the current point in the Mad Men, which I place at approximately 1964, I have no direct recollection of the ads of that time. Instead, I decided to showcase a collection of television ads from my childhood.
July 23, 2010 in Facism
This is a true story, and a possible prelude to Get Him To The Laundromat.
He moseys into the kitchen in his boxers, hair standing straight up. He just gotten out of bed; it’s 1pm. He’s 15.
Him: “What’s for lunch?”
July 23, 2010 in My Dull Life
When you get home from work, he’s hovering over the stove. He greets you with a furtive glance, stirring things.
The slicing of the sweet baguette is a somber affair. It takes him roughly forty-five minutes.
You have a beer, smoke a cigarette, chattering at him from the back porch.
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