Twat Dressed Like A Twat Wonders If He’s Dressing Like A Twat

June 1, 2010 in Twats

You know one of those articles you read with your eyes enrages you so much you want to blind the world by launching a nuclear warhead that squirts lemon juice into everyone’s eyes like a big citrus bastard? This is one of those articles. A twat in The Guardian wonders aloud like a twat if he’s dressing like a twat, when it’s plain as the nose on a twat’s face that he is, and by asking such a stupid fucking question his twat ratio has increased four-fold. Honestly, pal – come to my area of the world dressed like that and find out, you fucking twat. And yes – this angry post is as lazy as your original one, you fucking twat.

Tags: Twats

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Oh Evil Hag! →

http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/marshmueller/ marshmueller

Reading that article made my eyes want to explode. This was the worst:

For me, T-shirts are the central issue. I have had to rule out two scoop-necked T-shirts as being too low, and showing too much chest hair.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/strawberry-shortcake/ Strawberry Shortcake

Whatever V~ you rocked that outfit on your day yesterday and we all know it,
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/strawberry-shortcake/ Strawberry Shortcake

also i may like his watch but i can’t tell from that pic
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

At time of writing this comment here, my one word “Twat” comment on The Guardian has been recommended 14 times, and none of them by me.

So, anyway – hello anyone coming from The Guardian! Doesn’t the Twat look like a complete twat???
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/berightback/ berightback

VwS: That article is like listening to someone narrate the passage of time (when I was a teenager, I liked flashy, youthful clothes! But now I like to look ‘put together’. It might be because I’m getting older, like everyone, but lets put some awful shorts on and pose for an awful picture JUST TO BE SURE).

Also, the problem isn’t really the shorts up there, or at least aren’t confined to them.
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

I want whoever threw up at the Marina Abramovic exhibition to pay this guy a visit.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

27 recommendations now. I’m winning the War On Twat.
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

@ Virus

One of those is me, you twat.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

@LL: 32 now, asshole. They can’t all be you, knowing what I know about what you know about metadata, you know?
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/uncivily-obedient-2-2/ uncivilly obedient

His calves are seemingly larger then his thighs.
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

@ UO

I was noticing that. Also, that his calves appear to be 4/5ths the girth of his chest.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

Maybe it’s the lack of epaulets. Does anyone know if they have a version of that shirt with epaulets? If so, I will purchase that outfit and recreate it to the best of my ability for Wordsmoker. Then we can have a side by side comparison to see if I nailed the problem.

I really think that the urban setting makes him look a lot tougher.
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

@ Chillbear

So true. Can you imagine what a fag he’d look like if this picture were taken, for example, in this little girl’s bedroom?
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/marshmueller/ marshmueller

@LL: I would actually think of the model being less of a twat in that setting. The urban background makes him look even more like a poseur.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

@LdL: With or without epaulets?
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

@ Chillbear

No epaulets, but plus spats.
http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

This is all wrong. We have to start over.

Bad haircut, too short on top, and annoying beard scruff, girlie glasses.

Shirt? Hey, it’s late-spring/summer, either roll those fucking sleeves up or wear a short-sleeve shirt. Your use of “casual denim” here is not fooling anyone, you are uptight and have never done any real labor in your life.

Shorts are too short. Color is not bad, but flat-front pants at all times please. Shoving your hands in the pockets is not adding any girth, young man, cut that out.

Watch is for a teenager, not for a grown man. The belt is stupid and matches absolutely nothing. He is worthy of that wretched khaki color though.

The shoes and socks? Mauve never works, even on females. It’s just a puke color. The shoes would be OK with a suit, but here they don’t work at all, fake-casual.

I would speculate on his wallet and unds, but nah, I don’t care to go there.
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

@ Bookish

I’ll go there.

This, and none.
http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

LL: That money looks brand spanking new. Not our kind, darling.
http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

@ Book

I don’t know. If he keeps his money like he keeps his shorts…
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

I checked just as I’m going to bed – 49 recommendations NO I’M NOT BEING OBSESSIVE OVER THIS TWAT.

Also – some mysterious strange person called “BookishLookish” added a comment over there SHE OR HE SOUNDS NICE!
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/uncivily-obedient-2-2/ uncivilly obedient

@BL: His shirt sleeves are rolled up to mid-wrist. You can see the cuff.
http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

@UO: What is the purpose of clothing?

You think it is to cover your shame, but no. It is to make yourself more attractive to your intended mate. And what he’s doing there? That’s a pissant’s roll. Leave them all the way down or roll them up so I can see some real forearm, not your weak wrists. Shit or get off the pot.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/uncivily-obedient-2-2/ uncivilly obedient
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/geodejane/ GeodeJane

I see an aloof hirsute woman in a skirt.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

Pret a por-twat-er
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/irishbreakfast/ irishbreakfast

There is no excuse for mauve socks. No one wears them: not snowbirds, not golfers (anywhere), not tourists (anywhere), not 9 year-old girls. If you are in a crisis-stricken third-world nation, or New Orleans, and you recieve mauve socks from a charitable organization you use them to protect your hands while you clear rubble. If you are a wage-earning male living in America and you open your sock drawer to find that they are the only pair of socks you own you still do not wear mauve socks. You put your shoes on your fucking sockless feet and drive to the mall to buy some respectable socks. While there you could also ditch the rest of the crap you’re wearing and replace it, but I’m attempting to reign in my disdain and focus on the socks.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/heneage/ Heneage

He wears what I wear (those of you on FB know this), the differences being:

1. I’m not a douchebag. Conceited ass? Yes. Douchebag? No.

2. Socks and shorts? Ew.

3. Inappropriate choice of footwear. lLoafers, Top Siders, or Chuck Taylors are acceptable.

4. Roll up the sleeves, dude.

5. A watch with a plastic wrist band – seriously?

6. I don’t gaze wistfully off into the distance.

7. Aviators – you shouldn’t look like you raided Elton John or Paul Shaffer’s optometrist.

Anyone who commits 7 faux paus in one outfit should never be allowed to write an article in the Guardian on fashion – or anything, for that matter.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/heneage/ Heneage

@Bookish – Combine your list with mine and I think we have all the issues enumerated! The belt doesn’t bother me, with different shoes or a different colored shirt it’d be ok.

An addendum: unbutton the two top buttons, not just the first. Otherwise you look like you should be selling car stereos.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/seer-mcricketts-mcgee/ seer mcricketts-mcgee

For a couple of years now, I’ve been trying to figure out who would wear the “manpri.” Now I can sleep easy: it’s this twat. I mean, look at the two of them. They could be long lost brothers, looking longingly towards at each other across time and space. One trapped in the mean streets of London, the other at the mercy of pervy Dov Charney. They could be like the Wonder Twins, except their power lies in their shorts.

” alt=”Manpri” />

Though manpris would hide the twat’s feminine knees. Shapely!
http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

@Hen: He does not wear what you wear. In your photos you always look cute and cool. He looks twattish.

Ooh, now I get to paraphrase a quote from one of my favorite movies, Afterglow:

“Only thing you and him’s got in common is me, baby!”
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/heneage/ Heneage

@Bookish: Haha – thanks. I guess I do preppy well, he needs to get a copy of this:

http://www.amazon.com/Official-Preppy-Handbook-Jonathan-Roberts/dp/0894801406/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1275505734&sr=1-1

I think they’re coming out with an updated version soon.
http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

@Hen: You know, find your look and rock it. Make it a yes. This guy? He’s a maybe with a heaping helping of no.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

Super-special update!

MY COMMENT WAS REMOVED BY THE GUARDIAN MODERATORS!!!
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/irishbreakfast/ irishbreakfast

@ Virus: Kudos! I am green with you’ve-been-banned envy.

@S M-M: That photo! He must have had a bit part in some Masterpiece Theatre episode when he was a wee lad, then fell on hard times and has been wearing his costume pants and shoes ever since. His day job, bagging groceries at the Piggly-Wiggly, allowed him to scrape enough together to get the t-shirt. Poor, poor boy.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

@Virus: Yeah, but for a few shining moments, you had it all, buddy. You had it all.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

I am tempted to call for a contest where we have to assemble an equally twatish outfit from elements that we already own and submit our photos with that same pose.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/marshmueller/ marshmueller

@Chill: That would be hilarious. We could have our own “America’s Next Top Twat: International Edition!”

Sans Tyra Banks.
http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/rosie-cheeks/ Rosie Cheeks

is that michael j. fox? just sayin’.

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