How To Be Creepy
May 21, 2010 in Scary!
1. Drive a van.
2. Sport a mustache.
3. When you talk to girls, try to look as though you want to lick their face.
4. Go jogging wearing nothing but a pair of sneakers and a banana hammock.
5. Hit on pregnant moms.
6. When you meet someone, try to know their name, place of employment and home address ahead of time. Then, casually drop that information in the middle of your first conversation. When they show alarm, just smile knowingly and wink.
7. Wear a t-shirt that reads, “Sex Instructor: First Lesson Free” and is about one size too small to hide your paunch.
8. Carry a Bowie knife strapped to your leg.
9. Stare at women. When they catch you staring don’t try too hard to hide it and definitely don’t smile or do anything that might be charming. Just keep on with the staring.
10. Be a Scientologist. If you can’t do this, then just emulate Tom Cruise to the best of your ability.