Wordsmoker

VWS: First of all, I am going to “Scotsman” you silly until you’re pleading for me to stop…and then I’m going to “Scotsman” you a couple more times. (Just kidding. I wouldn’t “Scotsman” anyone without his prior written consent. That’s illegal in the colonies.)

Second of all: Really? Why are we doing this again?! Is what I’ve said so unpardonably awful and hateful that I must be the recipient of hideous Godwin’s Law-inducing pictures? Honestly. I’m not trying to be some gloating dick about all this stuff. I’m just trying to make my point–a point that my very own MOTHER doesn’t necessarily agree with. And if you don’t believe that, then just read my last comment on the “Our Fierce Advocate Strikes Again” thread.

I’m not an all-knowing god or judge or super-sapient creature. I’m just me: a gay man who came out when he was 19 (in 1991) and has been trying to reconcile his heterosexuality-drenched childhood with his own essential gayness for the subsequent 19 years (yes, I’m 38).

I have maybe reacted to those first 19 years of supposed straightness with a ferocity in those latter 19 years of open gayness that some find unseemly and weird and disturbing. Sometimes I find it unseemly and weird and disturbing that I am this out. You don’t give up that childhood indoctrination easily.

Just…give me a break. I’m doing the best I can with what I know what to do, which is write about what I went through and what I feel and what I believe is right.

ForwardM: What’s not fair? I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.

Little T: Terrible but really ambitious metaphor-mixing. No apologies needed (or accepted).

I think I got your thesis. You don’t like my tone and think I’m an kind of an unsympathetic asshole because of it.

I’ve found that people who complain about “tone” are often more pissed-off about the substance of what’s being said than the “tone.” Is it possible that you were wrong?

Could that irrational tone-policeman be you?

LDL: I want you to know that I admire what you’re doing and what you’ve done, which is defend your friends from what you perceive as attacks on them. That kind of loyalty is rare.

The reason I’m writing is because I think you perceive me as an enemy, when I’m in fact your ally.

The posts that I’ve written here, particularly on the Kagan nomination, have been written from a good-hearted place based on my experience as a gay man who has worked to further the cause of equal rights for LGBT and gender non-conforming citizens for all the years he has been out.

I certainly hope that when Kagan inevitably rules on the rights that affect you and me and all of our friends and families, she will come down on the side of our increasingly right-wing Supreme Court that acknowledges that we’re entitled to exercise the same rights that straight men and women have enjoyed for decades. I’m not hopeful about that, and I think Obama could have done a lot better than Kagan, but I’m going to keep my fingers crossed.

You’ve gotten it wrong in all of our debates here, and I chalk that up to your youth and ferocious loyalty. Ultimately we may end up agreeing or disagreeing about that more meaningfully as you have time and years to reflect on what you and I have said here. But that’s of no moment.

Where I think you get it tragically wrong, little brother, is where you attack me personally, histrionically threaten to go back into the closet because of my writing, and rail at me for saying things that I think you would acknowledge as true or at least worthy of real argument if I weren’t who you think I am.

I may have given you a certain impression in our past dealings on Gawker and Facebook that has stuck with you. But I’m just me and what I write. I’m a citizen of this country just like you, and I would really appreciate it if you could take me at face value. We used to be friends.

I’m writing this because I want you to know that your toxic clubbishness is slowly but surely reducing Wordsmoker to nothing more than a public forum for a discussion of your circle’s set of acceptable topics and unfunny inside jokes.

And if you don’t believe me, then look at the list of usernames on the left side of this screen and ask yourself how many of those people are still around or commenting actively.

Doesn’t Wordsmoker deserve to be more than this?

Steve Dew
stevedew77@gmail.com
stevedew77 (Twitter)

Katie: Thanks. I appreciate that a lot.

VWS: I’m glad that you’re planning on deleting all of my posts and comments here. It’s becoming rather embarrassing for me to be associated with you and this site.

And I put my name and everything else out there because SarahHeartburn made a good point. I’m not ashamed of saying any of the things I’ve said on this or any other thread or post that I’ve participated in here.

Why would it be an “insurrection” to be associated with what one says on Wordsmoker?

This is a very sad way to end all of our interactions together.

So Monday, then? Don’t wait. Do it now.

Jesus H. Christ, Virus, I published my real name and contact info BECAUSE I am not ashamed about anything I’ve written here. SarahHeartburn’s point was well-taken. I am proud to be associated with my writing here, because I think it’s been good.

I’m embarrassed to be associated with Wordsmoker when the threads devolve into hateful and personal attacks. Your attack just now makes Wordsmoker that much more unappealing to me.