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Giant Flipper Sperm Chosen To Promote 2012 Olympics

May 19, 2010 in Modern Madness

Like trying to hit a paranoid cow with a brick thrown from a helicopter, it’s hard to define the Olympic Ideal. So it’s nice to see that the people behind the 2012 Olympics in the UK have given up and made the mascots for the ‘Games in 2012 into some sort of giant, mutated sperm with flipper hands with what could at best be described as “worryingly prominent genital lumps”. One of them also looks as if they’ve peed themselves after drinking only antifreeze for 12 hours straight.

Here are the two of them. One of them is for the Paralympics. I don’t know which one. It might be pissy-pants, I dunno. Anyway, I fully expect these one-eyed bulgy fuckers to feature in a future nightmare sometime.

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

    Jesus. EVEN SALT LAKE CITY HAD COOLER MASCOTS THAN YOU.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/forwardmotion/ forwardmotion

    Who came up with these mascots? And how much mescaline were they on?
    Why why one eye?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/hydroceph/ Hydroceph

    I love the fact that the only Olympics i’ll probably see in my life is repped by these utter freaks.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    Guess who just got a new costume idea for the plushophile party that I’m hosting this Saturday?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/monkeyrash/ monkeyrash

    I think I dated that orange one. Not much of a fucker, but best cunnilingus ever.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/monkeyrash/ monkeyrash

    Ugh, confession. I had to look up the proper spelling of cunnilingus. There’s a voice pronunciation guide, and every time I press it, my phone tells me “cun I ling gus” in a halting fake human voice. I cannot stop listening.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    @MonkeyRash: I might just make some VIDEO MAGIC with me saying “cunnilingus” over and over again YES I AIM TO PLEASE HERE.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/monkeyrash/ monkeyrash

    @Virus: Shuddering in anticipation of longest orgasm ever.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lipsticklibrarian/ LipstickLibrarian

    Monk:

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/belltolls/ Belltolls

    They seem to be cellphones; from the former Yugoslavia.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    @CunniRash: Ask and ye shall receive.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/senorwences/ Senor Wences

    Those mascots are AWESOME. What’s wrong with you people? Look at those things! Weird disembodied eyeball facey things that can run around! That’s fucking great!

    The male has a smaller boner self BURSTING OUT OF HIS BRAIN to get at the female who HAS HER VAGINA EXPOSED AND FLUSHED WITH DESIRE!

    Seriously, LOOK AT THOSE THINGS! They jump around and shit!

    I am so good with this it’s ridiculous.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/irishbreakfast/ irishbreakfast

    This is true: the one with the flippers is the Paralympic mascot. WTF?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/perverseus/ perverseus

    I did a little research. It seems the mascots are named Wenlock and Mendeville. Which, as I’m sure you would all discover on your own, is a rather poorly disguised anagram for “legalize crack cocaine.”