HOOKERS – errmmm, I mean Playdates
April 28, 2010 in Geeking Out
Are you a heterosexual male who plays videos games? Have you noticed that there are maybe three girls in your area that also like to play video games? Have you never had a girlfriend because of this? Don’t worry, GameCrush.com has got your back.
And you might even see boobs!
You see, they have created a site where you can pay a girl to play your video game with you – online of course. She isn’t coming to your disgusting room. You can pick what kind of “play date” you want, too. Do you want to a flirty play date while you play Halo? How about a dirty one while you play Call of Duty? Well you can have it! The costs are based on what it would cost to buy a girl a drink at a bar. I don’t know what that means. I mean, are you buying like PBR or a 25 year-old scotch? Am I picking the bar or are you? But who cares, right? It is a living breathing girl that might take her shirt off for you!!!
On your playdate you need not worry about some tart with pretty “eyes” messing up your game, because all the girls are ranked not only on looks and type of date they will do but also on their gaming skills. You can check out what level she’s at on Gears of War before you jump right in there. All you need is a Xbox or a PC and a wallet full of bar mitzvah money.
And just so you know that you are dirty talking a cute girl and not your roommate, who is in his room playing the same game as you, like every night, there are web cams set up so you can see your online hooker playdate. Whew! Now get out there 35 year-old virgins and dirty talk with some girls who will lie to their friends and say they were sick on the night they played Halo with you!!