The Thieves At Slate
April 6, 2010 in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
I was furious NBC copied ChillBear’s “Public Service Announcement: Dating Dangers,” and vowed to wage war against the NBC/GE/Sheinhardt Wig Company,…I now have to add Slate to my Shit List.
A few weeks ago (March 18 to be exact), I posted a story on the ‘ol Wordsmoker tubes called “When Cats Take Acid,” a showcase of Friskies’ latest commercial, chock full of creepy CGI turkeys and kung-fu mutant chickens. It yielded eight comments, mostly about felines feasting upon acid and those possible side effects/woooooah, dude.
But now the writers at Slate must have caught wind to the awesomeness of making fun of this advertisement, with the story here (with a post date of march 29):
Sure, Mr. Seth Stevenson manages to contact the Marketing Director for Friskies, Susan Schlueter, but all I got were full voicemail boxes and cranky assistants. Mr. Stevenson must have an “in” at Friskies, but not enough where he can get a direct quote from her. He manages to get a half quote from Ms. Schlueter:
“”Feeding wet,” as Schlueter calls it, can for some owners be a highly ritualized and intimate pet interaction.”
It might be a good thing I never got a hold of Ms. Schlueter, for obtaining a half quote like that would be dirty journalism GOLD. Feeding wet, eh? wink wink…
And that’s when I would be physically thrown out of Friskies Headquarters without my free samples for Roxie (my Ragdoll cat who wrestles with our two Pomeranians. She’s a tough bitch). I would defend myself from the Kitty Goons with my stilettos and hiss until they sprayed Warm Vanilla Sugar Body Spray until I couldn’t take the smell anymore and I would slump away.
And then, as if it weren’t enough, he takes a jab at the “crazy cat lady.”
“Aimed at the Crazy Cat Lady who likes a few hits of acid before sitting down to watch Judge Judy with her 13 feline friends, to the non-stoned, this commercial makes me want to vomit rainbows. I don’t know what the cats at Friskies are smoking, but I think I need it to get through the workweek.”
“You might assume that these extreme cat enthusiasts all fit into the “crazy cat lady” mold. Why all these people enjoy the thought of their pets dropping acid, I can’t quite say. But I wish them well. May all their feedings be wet, and may all their cats trip out in a heavy, heavy way, man.”
And to top it off, Mr. Stevenson doesn’t even OWN a cat. He then proceeds to “grade” the commercial a “B,” when we all know it warrants a C- at best.
I think Slate/NBC/Sheinhardt Wig Company is onto us. Watch yourselves, Wordsmokers.
You could be next.