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The Guardian Gets Re-Design Seizures, Hates My Opinion

March 30, 2010 in Disasters

Oh, what to do when your favorite website gets infected by trendy-glasses-wearing shitbirds, who then do what trendy-glasses-wearing shitbirds do, which is shit all over everything because someone without any common sense has somehow paid them to shit all over it? And when that website solicits your opinion on the changes the shitbirds have made? Well, you give them your opinion. Unfortunately Pravda The Guardian didn’t enjoy my opinion, so they deleted it.

What was so horrific about my opinion on the changes enacted by trendy-glasses-wearing shitbirds? Did it contain language that somehow had never appeared in the Comments section before? No. Did it allude to the promotion of child molestation or enjoyment of the oeuvre of Michael Bay? No. Did I even publicly call them “shitbirds”? No. Luckily for me I’ve never trusted The Guardian’s comments section not to eat my comment, so I actually copied it prior to posting. And here it is, below:

I suppose all those people with the trendy square glasses have to do something to earn the ridiculous amounts of money they receive by saying a lot about fuck-all. You know who I mean – I can almost hear them describing these changes-for-change’s sake, and it makes me glad I don’t know any of them personally.

And, you know – a lot of people don’t actually visit a newspaper’s site to look at shitty videoblobs with their monotone and disembodied voices telling you nothing that could have been garnered in a nice block of simple text. Just because you now have the tools and the means of distribution to actually do these things does not automatically mean that it’s always good.

I’ve yet to hear anyone – anyone – say “wow, did you watch that amazing video on The Guardian?” or “I’m so glad I heard <writer’s name> speaking words I can actually read myself – it really brought it alive!”

As much as you’ve tried to already defend it, much of it is in a complete and utter mess. No, I don’t like it, because I thought you had it pretty good before, and yes, I’ll learn to live with it, because The Guardian is one of the best news sources on the web even though you’re giving me now giving me the eye-dizzies with this zig-zag crap.

Honestly – you’re now making The Independent’s front page look like a bastion of taste and legibility (ie, the majority of the content is now way below “the fold”).

And “Trending”? Really? Are you purposely looking for a punch in the bollox?

I can’t wait until the next bunch of trendy-glasses-wearing shit-spurters come along to hopefully unfuck it.

Yours,

A Battered Wife

Just to remind you – I’ve seen all of the words I used published in the Comments section before.

I’m guessing what some particular trendy-glasses-wearing shitbird didn’t like was being compared unfavorably to The Independent. But, you know, thanks for giving me something to write about, besides Ricky Martin shocking no-one anywhere.

EXCITING UPDATE: I’ve now joined a FACEBOOK GROUP protesting about this re-design nonsense, and hopefully shitbirds in general. NOW WATCH THEM RECANT AND SCURRY OFF TO UNFUCK EVERYTHING WITH GREAT HASTE AND MAYBE A MODICUM OF SHAME!!11!! Honestly, by the time y’all wake up and read this EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL AND THIS POST WON’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Oh, and if you do join, let them know Wordsmoker sent you, because I’m not being annoying enough this morning. xoxo

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    Honestly – even Alan has the good sense to back-out some of the wilder aspects of Gawker. Remember all the numbers and things on the right-hand side?

    I’M NOW BORING MYSELF ON MY PLAIN OLD TEXTY WEBSITE.

    Sorry.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ Latterday Lenin

    It’s like the Drudge Report and Windows Explorer had a dyslexic fetal alcohol syndrome baby.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/sarahheartburn/ SarahHeartburn

    Glad it’s not only me. When I first saw it I thought I was reading USA today.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/ninahagen/ Nina Hagen

    Those colors! It’s just like Mr. Winkle’s site now:

    http://www.mrwinkle.com/home.htm

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

    NinaH: Oh gawd, don’t look directly at Mr. Winkle. He is evil incarnate. The alien color scheme of the site is just a hint of his dark, dark plans.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/strawberry-shortcake/ Strawberry Shortcake

    WEEEE it’s like a rainbow! And a carousel!!! WEEEEEEEE

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/strawberry-shortcake/ Strawberry Shortcake

    To be fair, Mr Shoes, I ignore everything you say that isn’t in LOLcat format. Had you put a nice picture of a kitteh in some glasses in the comment you would have seen some changes made.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mama-penguino-2-2-2/ Mama Penguino

    Damn it, I just blew snot out my nose when I read “A Battered Wife.”

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/blix/ Blix

    SS: “This r serious thread”, gets them everytime.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/belltolls/ Belltolls

    Hey Virus, is it true it is snowing in Scotland? I thought you guys were south of the Equator– but then I didn’t pay that much attention in school. Also is there actually anyone in the UK named Dick Turnip? From The Guardian.

    Followers

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/whyamihere/ WhyamIhere?

    I only read the Guardian occasionally, usually when I follow a link someone posted somewhere. This is probably because I was born in the colonies and feel that imperialists on the other side of the pond just can’t do things as well as we do here (Virus excluded). Plus they use the Queen’s English so it looks like they misspell a lot of words. So when I read our glorious editor’s post I was skeptical about how bad it could actually be. Then I went there. Utter disaster. I didn’t mind that the top two articles relate to British government, it is the Guardian. The problem is that there are so many pictures there is not enough room for print. You know the short blurb you read to decide if you want to bother reading the rest. Oh and the only other thing I could see without scrolling was a picture and a link to the Guardian’s online dating site. I felt compelled to register and comment.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/whyamihere/ WhyamIhere?

    Here is a gift for Strawberry Hotpants.
    Guardian story on new Twilight novella.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    I just checked, and my comment on their thread pointing to this post has been deleted completely. Not even a “Removed by Moderator” – deleted from history, without a trace.

    What a bunch of trendy-glasses-wearing pissy little shitbirds they seem to be.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/ninahagen/ Nina Hagen

    Eyesight is for pussies.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/forwardmotion/ forwardmotion

    The Guardian is still leaps and bounds better than the San Francisco Chronicle, even though they publish everything author Lionel Shriver writes, which is basically just her constantly describing what a poisonous nightmare she apparently is to friends and family. In the past four months she has written about humiliating her parents in an autobiography, talked about how obscenely obese her brother is (was–he died that week) and then last week she wrote about abandoning her “best friend” when she had cancer. The woman wrote one good book(a very good book, in my opinion), but the rest of her books are pretty bad. I don’t understand who she is schtupping over at the Guardian that they keep publishing how she strips those close to her of their secrets, their dignity, and (apparently) their lives. Can’t she volunteer at a soup kitchen or help a little old lady across the street and then write about that?

    *end of rant*

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mama-penguino-2-2-2/ Mama Penguino

    I wonder what The Guardian thinks of How to Train Your Dragon?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/baroness/ Baroness

    Well that stinks- your comment didn’t seem any more acid than is usual there. Maybe it was the Eff Word that set them off? I really only read the Observer there, so I can’t truly say. I think the best thing to do is assume it’s anti-Scots prejudice on their part, and nurse that grievance until it becomes a blinding hatred for the Guardian and all it stands for, the way they dehumanized you there, assuming you were some nutty Susan Boyle sort, crankily typing away with your cats and your tartan shawl under the oil lamp. How dare they! I think clinging to this humiliation, letting it burn into your brain as you lie awake seething, is the healthiest thing to do.