In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Erykah Badu recently filmed a “pop video” along the same streets in Dallas where Kennedy was shot in ’63. In this “pop video”, she walks around taking off her clothes one by one, then finally crumples into a heap on the street with blue shit leaking out of her head. Our campaigning lawyer and ass-expert (asspert?) Unfun Garrison takes issue with what is now known as the “Zabadu” footage, as you will see below…
Our national culture is being ripped asunder by the demagogues who pose as men and women of Science – those pretenders whose legacies and livelihoods are dependent on their ability to destroy modern conventions, replace them with bumper sticker “theories” and then win a prize not awarded in Scandinavia, but in Chicago.
I was recently made aware of an urgent matter by Sarah Palin, one that I think we can all agree is of the utmost importance to us all. You see, her country is under attack. Now, I’m not sure what country she is from, or where it is located, but that a sovereign nation on this Earth should be attacked without a general hue and cry from the free nations of the world is appalling.
Oh, what to do when your favorite website gets infected by trendy-glasses-wearing shitbirds, who then do what trendy-glasses-wearing shitbirds do, which is shit all over everything because someone without any common sense has somehow paid them to shit all over it? And when that website solicits your opinion on the changes the shitbirds have made? Well, you give them your opinion. Unfortunately PravdaThe Guardian didn’t enjoy my opinion, so they deleted it.
In a shock to absolutely no-one, an obviously gay singer admitted yesterday he was gay. For around ten years the entire world has been convinced that this obviously gay singer was gay, and now it has been confirmed by the gay singer, obviously. Many people will not remember where they were when they heard that the obviously gay singer said that he was gay, because as soon as they saw him, or his boyfriend, they’d assumed that he was gay.
Because I know that my activities are so interesting to you, I’ve decided to treat you all to a little tour of the workplace where I complete the Smokies every other Sunday. Actually, I am aware that none of you care about this process because I’m not some arrogant jerk like those fucks at How It’s Made. I realize that it’s the end product that counts. However, it’s either this or I use a current event that I don’t have time to research, and then get trounced in the comments for using Fox News talking points, even thought I usually watch CNBC. Anyway, here’s where the Magic happens:
Look, I know this is a fool’s errand. People who post things on a blog titled WTF Japan, Seriously do not, in fact, want to seriously know what the fuck, Japan. They just want to giggle at the indecipherability.
But on the other hand, there are ads like the one below that simply beg for an attempt at elucidation. So join me, but first make sure to take a gander at the truly fascinating / heartrending / strangely moving potato chip commercial below!
You might have heard, if you strained your ears and got them as close to your laptop speakers as possible and turned up the volume to max and had someone else point out what Mr. Biden said or saw a video who’s audio was enhanced and played it again and again like the following clip: Read the rest of this entry →