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Dating Lesson Learned From Movies – The Ugly Truth

February 11, 2010 in Cinema, Dating

Hey, are you a single Wordsmoker?  Me too.  Wouldn’t it be nice to snuggle up with a loved one and watch a movie?  WELL STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT – YOU ARE FUCKING SINGLE.  So rather then just watch movies and cry about how they are all SOOOO in love, I have decided to help us all out and take notes on dating, according to the movies.  First up, the obvious choice – The Ugly Truth – in listicle format to make it easier for everyone.

1-We can’t date ourselves.  Oh and ladies you can’t really date one of the geighs.

2-Guys only care what you look like.  (maybe….. Gerard Butler has that I am troubled look in his eyes so this will probably end up being wrong)

3-Apparently guys don’t like girls who drink sugar free red bull. WELL FUCK!  I am not giving up my red bull.

4-So doing a background check on a guy before a date is a bad idea.

4.5-And so is printing out a list of talking points in case there is dead time.

5-All men want is a hot girl that is good in bed.  Oh and gives blow jobs.

6-Guys don’t want to eat a nice dinner, they want Jello wrestling.

7-Ok so here is how to land that first date ladies;  hang up on guys.  If they call back they might like you so put him on hold for a really long time and if he stays on the line he might like you, so hang up again to make sure.

8-Never criticize – just laugh at anything he says because mens want to be funny and good in bed sooo also always fake it.

9- Dress like a slut.  You should never look comfortable just fuckable.

10-Never talk about your problems; any guy who pretends to care just wants anal (this is probably true).

11- Men don’t like short hair or pony tails – they just want to pull your hair while you are naked on top of them.

12- Try to deep throat a hot dog or other penis shaped food if you do something dumb – and make sure to stick your tits out as much as possible.

13- You should wear vibrating panties to business diners.  Your date will find you climaxing between salad and the main course really hot!

14- Guys in BMWs, sweaters and loafers who take you picnicking are not what you really want and he is just trying to get into your pants too.

15- Sexy dancing is hot.  Making out in an elevator is hotter.


Side note: sex in a hot air balloon would be awkward since the pilot is in the same three foot area as you.

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/therivercharley/ therivercharley

    I have not seen The Ugly Truth. But if you got this list from that movie, I’m disappointed: not enough emphasis on the role wanting anal plays in the motivations of men.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/strawberry-shortcake/ Strawberry Shortcake

    TRC- yeah there was very little talk about anal. A lot of talk of blow jobs though.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/therivercharley/ therivercharley

    blow jobs schmlow schmlobs.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/uncivily-obedient-2-2/ uncivilly obedient

    I plan on watching Dorian Gray (2009) tonight. The key to happiness, If I remember the book correctly, is realizing that it doesn’t come from love of another but of ones self. It may only last for eighteen or so years but that’s longer then any relationship you can hope for.

    Also, this list looks like it’s straight out of Cosmo Mag. Maybe now we know how unoriginal those list really are.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    2. Yes, but not all men’s standards of beauty is the same, so there is hope for everyone.

    3. Indifferent.

    5. So?

    6. What’s wrong with both?

    8. That pretty much sums it up. I would also like them to validate me as a great writer. You don’t have to believe it, but just tell me I am.

    9. This applies well after your settled into the relationship. The big aphrodisiac is feeling that other men want to fuck you, but can’t. Don’t waste an aphrodisiac.

    13. Yeah that’s fucking hot! Not the unusual exclamation point.

    15. Yrd.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/sfbirdie/ sfbirdie

    umm

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/rhea-pollstry/ Rhea Pollstry

    Thank you for fifteen reasons why I don’t watch romantic comedies.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    @Rhea: I loathe romantic comedies, but I was almost lured into this one because of Gerard Butler. I liked him a lot in RocknRolla and 300. Your comment steeled my resolve not to see it. I guess I actually liked the movies and his characters as opposed to Butler’s performances. He was good in both, but it’t not like the were Oscar material.