Wordsmoker

(Yes! It’s the Return Of That Thing That Will Be Popular Given Enough Time And It Still Somehow Refuses To Die During The Intervening Period – otherwise known as “The Wordsmoker Colony”. If you haven’t submitted yours, it’s really easy – note KateKate’s and replace her choices with your own and send them electronically via the mail address and they’ll be published next year if you’re lucky! Lucky! Ed.)

An Audio Track: This might be cheating, but I’m not really one to follow the rules (that is a complete lie), so whatever. Since it’s technically a suite in itself, I would take the entire second side of Abbey Road. I’ll even give a little and admit that “You Never Give Me Your Money” and “Sun King” ought not be included, since they’re not technically the same track (but I’m pretty sure they’re on side 2, so I still think I should get them too). Being a child of the digital age, I illegally downloaded a bunch of Beatles stuff in high school. I had all the pieces of the medley, but never actually listened to them in succession until like 3 years ago. What I thought were a bunch of corrupted audio files that hadn’t downloaded all the way were actually the epitome of what I love in music: continuity and melody.

A Visual Image: I’d want a picture of Earth. Even though we left that godforsaken rock for something better, it was still home, once.

A Video Track: There is so much I love about this. Say what you will about Wes Anderson, but for me, there is nothing better than The Life Aquatic. I have sort of a… difficult family situation at times, and every time I watch this movie, I’m reminded that family is more than just blood.

A Book: This one is really tough for me, but I think I’d take The Complete Memoirs of George Sherston by Siegfried Sassoon. Although its main character is called George Sherston, it’s really an autobiography (with names and places changed, and apparently some minor details about events as well). I’ve talked about Sassoon before, and I just find him fascinating for some reason. A decent part of this book is about pre- and post-war periods of his life, but is nonetheless very engaging. It’s hard to qualify what I love about this book, but suffice it to say, if I could only ever read one thing again, it’d be this.

A “Memory Box”: When I was going into my senior year of college, I got extremely depressed. I was trying to get help, but something just wasn’t clicking and I wasn’t doing well. I wasn’t really sleeping at all, and was generally beyond miserable. Two friends (who are still very dear friends) took good care of me and helped me get out of that hole, and that’s something I never want to forget–there were/are at least two people in the world who think I’m worth the extraordinary effort. One of them made me a CD (how very college) that basically said, “I know you’re having a hard time, and I don’t know exactly what to do, but I know you’re hurting and I’m here to help.” (I actually thought I lost the CD in the car accident I had last month, which was the first time I really broke down and cried because it was something I could never replace. But I found it!)

A Treat: My nana’s rice pudding, with raisins.

Another Sentient Being: No question: my cat Nina. She’s hilariously neurotic, is actually a friendly cat and has an underbite.

A Partner For Procreation: I can’t remember if someone else already chose him, but whatever. There might have to be a fight to the death, or perhaps we’ve moved beyond that. I guess I wouldn’t want to make the gene pool to shallow, but, you know, it’s Paul Newman, so sacrifices have to be made, man.

A SmokieBot™: If we grow corn on our new island, I’d want a robot that shucked it. Every single fucking time I’ve ever shucked corn, there has been some kind of horrible living thing inside. I would never do that again, except I really like fresh corn.

What Were You Before You Left? I don’t know what my job title was, but before I left, I completely changed the US correctional system so that it actually rehabilitated those who could be rehabilitated, and didn’t just beget more criminal activity and cost everyone billions of dollars and ruin families and communities.